Steve Liu-- Ministry in Boston

10 Foot Truck

2011-02-18T09:07:00.002-05:00

This is kind of fun... in a few hours, I'll be driving a 10-foot cargo truck up to Alton Bay, NH. The worship team for our winter youth retreat is apparently big enough to require a tour truck to transport all the gear. I'll be leading nine juniors and seniors as they lead 150 fellow teenagers in singing worship. There's lots of talent, which makes this a particularly fun job.

This will be my seventh Winter Teen Conference as a counselor; it will be my 14th youth retreat with BCEC youths. That means I've been to 22 total Teen Conferences if you include my time as a youth. I'm not sure when this happened, but I guess that makes me a veteran.

Anyhow, please pray for us this weekend as we hope students will come away with a greater sense of the grace of Jesus and his call on their lives.

Wedding planning is coming along... need to get invitations printed this week to stay on schedule.

Snow Days and Movement of the Heart

2011-01-20T23:22:00.002-05:00

Took PDAS Ice Skating over Christmas

We made a practice of canceling PDAS every time Boston Public Schools flinches. It makes sense, since families can avoid the guesswork of trying to figure out when we open or close due to snow. But in the past two weeks, we've been closed for 4 days! That's a lot of days lost when you consider that a month only has about 20 days of service.

What do I do on those days off? I still put in "office time." I'm working on federal funding for our after-school snacks and coming up with a tutoring model to use in training counselors. I don't personally track attendance anymore since Kirk has taken over those responsibilities (hurrah for sharing administrative work!); but there are still plenty of loose ends to slowly tighten. Aside from administrative work, I try to use some of that time to study. Systematic Theology II is my online class and I'm trying to move forward in it so that I can keep up my status as a full time student. There's also wedding planning, which is starting to feel very imminent. I can't wait; and I'm so glad we're not doing that alone (thanks wedding planning team)!

Tonight, with the snow on the way, I spent some more time driving and chatting with K., a PDAS student. Good conversations about whether marriage is worth it and what the point of PDAS is. Sometimes I forget I'm chatting with a 6th grader who avoids homework.

There are so many little surprising things that have happened this year. Doing PDAS sometimes feels like my raw wide-eyed experience of serving in the Dorchester youth group several years ago. I don't really know how to explain the emotion except that a lot of tenderness of heart that has been absent for a few years in my ministry work is back again-- just when I thought those feelings were symptoms of youth and inexperience which I would never have again. I know better than to base my confidence in feelings; nor can I explain why sometimes they are strong while at other times they're not; but it's nice to have them.

PDAS: two months

2010-11-13T00:56:00.000-05:00

I had a phone call with Em recently about what we each did in PDAS, our church's after-school ministry during the day. In the midst of it, I thought, wow, we're getting to do all the things we hoped we'd get to do when we started this new model! It's hard to share this stuff on a blog since so much of what happens is about people who deserve to have their privacy preserved, but we've been hanging out with Boston teenagers, most of whom are not connected to any of the regular youth groups. Sure, we're making youngsters do homework and in a way you might say it's glorified babysitting. But we're also getting a lot of awesome opportunities. We're having one-on-one huddles about life with kids who probably would have never thought of attending church. We're meeting with parents about their hopes and worries. We're seeing a handful of kids experiment with attending regular youth group. I'm driving kids home and having conversations about God almost every night this week. We're filling up two-three rooms at church every day with kids who otherwise might not have a connection to our church. We're seeing young servant leaders develop in their capacity to care for kids and take advantage of opportunities to share the gospel. We're offering free enrichment opportunities that other programs might have to charge a lot for. And it's just the beginning of what we hope God will do through PDAS.

I'm thankful and really glad to have a chance to be a part of all this. If anybody ever gets really helped through PDAS, I hope they'll actually think this: "Wow, if there's a God, he must really love me if his church went through all this trouble to do stuff for me." And they'd be starting to understand the gospel a little better.

End of Week 1

2010-09-18T11:43:00.000-04:00

This has been a really neat, but busy week. We kicked off PDAS, with an average of 25 kids each day stopping in for most of each afternoon. It looks like the kids are having fun and getting homework done, but it's clear that we will need more qualified staff. On a typical day, a small handful of kids arrive at 3:00 and play video games. Then, the Quincy Upper School contingent arrives at 3:35. Not long after, bigger waves of kids arrive; but by that time, I'm out of the Family Room and in the Studio doing some tutoring or homework supervising. By 4:30, when we have our Meeting TIme, we're usually up to near-capacity, which is great because they'll get to be there for announcements and the devotions. After Meeting time and snack, the rest of the afternoon is taken up by more homework, card games, and maybe basketball if the parking lot is free.

I'm getting to know some of the newer kids, particularly 6th graders who are full of energy-- in the best and worst ways. It's hard for me to remember when I was that age, and it's sometimes hard to keep up with their hyperactive pace and attention span, but I hope we get to keep them and watch them grow for a few years. Lord willing, we'll still have a program when they are high-schoolers. On Sunday, I'll be taking a group to the New England Aquarium-- if anybody shows up with a permission slip. You just don't know; and that's one of the realities of a "drop-in/ stop-in" model.

Other than ministry, classes have started. It's tough to find time to do homework with all the administrative work related to running these programs. Still, I'm glad to be back in Boston again for the whole year and hopefully I'll get better at managing this schedule.

Day 1

2010-09-14T00:03:00.000-04:00

Today was the first day of a totally new routine! After spending some time listening to Andy Stanley's podcast, I spent the morning in Gordon Conwell's Roxbury office, trying to fix an administrative issue so that I could register for the class I'd take later that night. Then I went to church for the final prep and setup before PDAS's start.

At around 3PM, the doorbells started ringing. Kids arrived 2-3 at a time at a steady rate until both the family room and studio were packed! We had more than 30 teenagers and middle-schoolers staying most of the afternoon. Most kids started with their homework without anybody to prompt them. Some of them joined video games or card games. It was awesome-- at least 1/3 of the kids were not from our regular church ministries and most of them looked like they were getting comfortable after a little while.

In some ways, the afternoon was a blur. So much happening, so little time to sit! A few highlights:

One boy asked, "if we're not paying for this, is this school broke?" I answered by citing support from the church family. "If you run into an older person if you come to our church on a Sunday, say to them, 'hello, great benefactor.'"
I played a pickup game with 3 of the "older" kids at the end of the day.
3 counselors and 1 guest counselor came today and made things fun and smooth.
When I went upstairs to the Studio, it was filled and quiet!

After the program closed at 6PM, we had a quick debrief session and then Emily drove me to my class, which met from 6:45 to 9:30PM. My night was just beginning as my Inner City Ministry class met for the first night. It looks like it will be a lot of work, but I'm excited.

Tomorrow, we'll repeat the routine, only the class will be Exegesis of Judges at Park St. Church. Praise God for a great first day!

Planning for PDAS

2010-09-07T13:03:00.000-04:00

PDAS-- Project Destiny After School.

We've had an after-school program at our church for a few years now. The idea was that we could provide a few resources, program a few activities, and share the gospel with the kids who came. Over the past few months, while directing Project Destiny Summer Camp, I've been thinking a lot about the year-round After-School component. There's no official title yet, especially since the former paid-staff position was eliminated from the church budget this year, but I'm planning on coordinating and directing PDAS this school year on a part-time basis while attending seminary part-time.

There are several changes I'm excited about implementing:
1. We've reduced the cost by 100%. This seems more radical than it should-- churches have giving free services to their neighbors for millennia; but economic times are tough. I'm excited for a chance for our church to be generous with its time and finances.

2. We've moved to a drop-in model. There are a lot of negative associations with the term "drop-in" in after-school care; but drop-in is a great way to meet the individual needs of families and students. They can come when they have nothing else to do or when they need help with a particular assignment. This just means we're going to have to really amp up quality of care to keep kids coming.

3. We're open to high-schoolers. We used to only take middle-school to correspond to our summer camp, but older teenagers are more likely to come to a drop-in program and invite their friends to come hang out. More than that, being open to high-schoolers means having a chance for our church to build a longer-term relationship with teenagers.

We're starting next Monday. There are about 30 students registered. It's all so new and I'm not sure what to expect. I'm sure there will be challenges and mistakes along the way. We'll have less control and so many more variables to anticipate. Please join me in praying for God to provide the right staff and wisdom for the planning team. Pray also for me as I take on this new ministry role in Chinatown while continuing my studies.

Summer Teen Conference

2010-08-27T11:59:00.001-04:00

In a few hours, I'll be driving up to Alfred, ME with a car full of music equipment and a worship team. Our church's annual Summer Teen Conference is this weekend. We'll be taking a total of 130 kids for 4 days and 3 nights to hear God's word and play in the clean air of Maine. I'm excited particularly for the 43 Project Destiny campers who will be joining us and the many students who wrote down that they are not Christians. My prayer for them is that they'd get to know our church family better and know the love of Christ. Again, I'll be leading the worship team. It's such a privilege to play and worship with these guys. Please pray that the word of God would penetrate hearts and change lives.

One more day of Camp!

2010-08-05T22:50:00.000-04:00

And just like that, camp will be over. Tomorrow is our last day of camp. Though I'm tired and ready for some quiet alone time, I wish we had another week. I'll write more later, but for now, please pray for our last day that we would take every opportunity to share to Gospel in word and deed.

Week 4 Update

2010-07-31T11:43:00.002-04:00

It seems that this summer of ministry has been shaped by The Flood (see previous updates). But finally, it looks like the affects of the deluge are subsiding. After many phone messages, pounding away with a hammer at a stuck fire-door, and lots of praying, our fire inspector came by on Wednesday and certified our church site for camp occupancy.

Then, Friday, in the middle of a field trip (Project Destiny Olympics at the Joe Moakley Park in South Boston), while I was wondering whether or not we'd have a camp site for our final week of camp, our building inspector arrived and gave us the go ahead. Later in the afternoon, the health department called and OK'ed us to move back to 249 Harrison Avenue!

Thus, after a long absence from the church building, our day-camp will return back to its original site for the final week. When we made the announcement at dismissal time that day, there was much cheering--from both campers and counselors alike.

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Last night, we had a joint fellowship night with PD and our regular middle-school youth group. We had about 60 kids filling the church basement for "Bill the Builder Night". Their task was to engineer houses that could fit as many people as possible, out of only rolled up newspapers and two pizza cartons. Here's a picture:

They had a lot of fun and a few new-comers to youth group said they would be attending more often. Praise God!

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Please pray for our final week. One devotional this week we had was from 1 Peter 5:8-- Be sober-minded and watchful, since our enemy prowls around like a lion waiting to devour somebody. When we are tired and weary, it's easy to be pounced upon by his lies. Pray that our mindset would be right and that Christ would be honored in our work and love for one another and the campers.

Open...Shut... Open...

2010-07-17T11:46:00.002-04:00

I'm sure it's frustrating for parents that we are open and shut and open again, but for the time being, camp is open again! We passed all three inspections: building, fire, and health; and we got our camp permit yesterday-- praise God!

So we opened camp yesterday in the Josiah Quincy Upper School. Students gathered into the cafeteria and we had a re-cap trivia quiz for chapel time. The kids had fun with it. Then we got on buses and shipped off to Providence, RI to visit the Roger Williams Park Zoo. It was nice to see counselors hanging out with the kids again, reading signs to them and admiring God's creatures together.

For the present, we are open and will be open on Monday. We still need to secure a long term solution for camp site-- either by repairing the church quickly or staying longer at a temporary site. JQUS is a costly facility for us to rent, and it may not be sustainable to remain there for more than a few days. Please pray for God to provide a solution.

Shut Down Again

2010-07-14T20:18:00.000-04:00

We got shut down this morning by the city, 30 minutes before we were going to open up camp again. I was so ready with a sermon for chapel and with plans to move all operations into the Quincy Upper School. We had gotten a verbal understanding and ok from the city and the Boston Public Schools. Then I took the phone call from Inspection Services which gave the order to shut down. After the discouraging call, I entered the sanctuary to deliver the news to the team, which had been praying about the phone call. I could sense a lot of disappointment and frustration. The staff spent the morning welcoming campers into a room and keeping them there until we could contact their parents to send them home.

I spent the day at 1010 Mass. Ave. with Emily shuttling from office to office, trying to get camp opened up again. They would like us to start over again, as if we were planning a brand new day camp-- a process that took us a month or so to do for our original site.

I went through many different emotions throughout this day. I was really psyched to get back to serving campers and having counselors work with kids, as well as delivering my sermon. Then I felt frustrated and stung by my unfulfilled expectations and the inconsistency of the authorities I had spoken to. After that, I was energized by the task of getting campers safely home. At some point, when I was at the ISD, I was hopeful we could have camp tomorrow. Then as the hours passed and inspectors started ending the work day, I was deflated to know that we'd have no camp the next day.

I'm still confident that God is in control and that my disappointments are only because I don't see things the way that God sees them in the grand scheme of eternity. But right now, I'm pretty tired out by the roller coaster ride. We've been a camp without campers for almost a week. I covet and appreciate your prayers.

Back in Business (Lord willing)

2010-07-13T21:30:00.002-04:00

Camp is on for tomorrow! Praise God! More details to follow later, but after many conversations, much prayer and waiting, we've been given permission to use Quincy Upper School, my old haunt. Pray for a smooth transition to our new site tomorrow morning.

BTW-- it is pretty ironic that I am back at JQUS, where I used to be a teacher. I left JQUS to go into church ministry , but God has used old connections to open doors.

Camp Shut Down! Please pray!

2010-07-12T13:06:00.000-04:00

Camp is closed! Saturday afternoon, as I was in the emergency room investigating a possible contagious disease (I’m ok and not sick), I got the call from our operations manager that the church had flooded! We spent that night moving furniture, sucking up water, sanitizing toys, and washing out contaminants from the basement. The basement is now dry, but because of hazardous health conditions, we had to call all the campers and close for at least today (Monday).

Currently, I’m investigating ways to open camp as soon as possible. Since we are licensed by the city, our responsibilities are numerous and we need to be approved by Boston’s health and building inspectional services before opening up. A demolition crew is slated to come in and take apart the basement within the next few days; but this would leave us without the most important floor in our camp. One possibility is that we move to a new site, which is slightly disappointing because we love getting campers comfortable enough so that attending youth group won’t be such a stretch for them. Another possibility is that we remain closed for an extended period of time. It is possible that the city will just shut us down for good; but we are hoping and praying.

If you can, would you pray that God would be glorified during this time—that we would learn to trust him in new ways and that we would see his provision. Also, pray for all the families that will not have a place for their kids to go during this time. Finally, pray for the Gospel to be preached and shared no matter what the circumstances. I’m reminded again of Romans, where Paul writes that “for those who love God all things work together for those who are called according to his purpose.” We have a purpose this summer from the Lord and we are clinging to him. We are looking forward to him working all things out as He promised.

First Week Update

2010-07-12T13:04:00.001-04:00

It’s been a great first week! On Friday, we wrapped up the week by going to George’s Island in Boston Harbor, where we played group games and explored the fort. We had a few unexpected things come up: since the island was under major construction, the only way to our camp site was to lead the entire group along with our equipment through a narrow pitch-black tunnel. Also, our assistant directors, Emily and Kam Ho, had to wait at church for the camp lunches to be delivered to us; and as a result, they missed two ferries and we had to go without both assistant directors for the entire morning.

More importantly, though, a lot of good bonding between counselors and campers occurred this week; and it looks like kids are having fun. For chapel, we’ve been following the faith-story of Gideon and the Israelites in the time of the judges. Through two fun skits and one slightly long sermon, we studied the theme that bad things aren’t evidence that God doesn’t exist, but rather God’s way of getting our attention.

Training is Over! (pre-dated to July 4)

2010-07-12T12:59:00.000-04:00

Finally, camp starts tomorrow! All month, we’ve been gearing up for this day. Project Destiny training is now done. The team of 25 staff has been working hard and training hard. We’ve started our bonding, we’ve prayed, we’ve prepped lessons, and now we’re looking forward to campers coming! I can’t wait for the first awkward moments when campers come through the door and counselors match faces to the names they’ve been praying over.

Right now, I’m sitting in Panera, doing some of the last-minute work. It’s July 4^th, but for me, it’s a big work day. I’ve accompanied some of the female counselors to do their day-before-camp shopping. I’m excited about tomorrow and meeting our 54 campers!

PD: The Staff

2010-05-24T13:52:00.003-04:00

Life as Project Destiny Director continues... today, I'm sitting in my office editing 22 prayer support letters. It's exciting to read everyone's reasons for why they are volunteering. When I think about how we're never sure if we're going to have staff, and then how God just provides every time, I'm humbled. From reading their letters I can get a glimpse of how each writer's life has been planned by God to criss-cross with each other at this time. Not only has God answered PD's prayer requests for staff before we even prayed; He's also leading every one of these writers on a journey to know and serve him more in love.

We have 10 Senior Counselors and 11 Junior Counselors, as well as one Intern. The staff comes from all over Massachusetts (nobody from Japan this year, sadly... though we've got one Chinese citizen!). They regularly attend churches at Boston Chinese Evangelical Church in Chinatown, BCEC-Newton, Chinese Bible Church of Greater Lowell, Chinese Gospel Church of Massachusetts, Boston Vineyard Church, Highrock-Arlington, Amherst Koinonia Church. They range in age from 16 to 21 (their age-range is smaller than my age-gap from them!). More than half of them are too young to vote. All but two of them are too young to drink. It's a good thing we don't have to do either of those this summer!

I'm reminded of 1 Timothy 4:12-- "Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity." -- and of a recent sermon where our pastor explained that it is those who are younger who must set an example for the older. Perhaps that is one theme verse for me as I look to see what God's plan is for our staff. When older believers look at the younger believers in this group, I hope they will see something inspiring and praise God for them.

Moving into Office

2010-05-18T11:43:00.000-04:00

I finished my spring semester at Gordon-Conwell two weeks ago. By far, it has been the smoothest end of semester I've had. In the past, I would have multiple nights of all-night paper-writing. This year, I only stayed up half of the night!

In any case, I've moved out of GCTS and have set up back closer to Boston. During the summers when I direct Project Destiny, I have a summer office on the third floor of my church. There are pictures of our English pastor and his children staring down at me from above, since it is his old office; but it's nice to have space for books, studying, doing work, and having meetings.

I've fully picked up the PD director hat now, with full work hours each day. The camp staff is fully assembled: we met together two weeks ago for orientation. The planning team is plugging away at licensing, enrolling campers, and designing the staff training. Our intern (how did we ever do without one?) has been here every day booking field trips and preparing documents. Counselors are calling, e-mailing, and meeting with me to design their Labs. It's an exciting time in the life-cycle of our camp, like spring-time before summer. Things aren't fully bloomed yet, but they're budding and full of color.

Amidst all this, I need to remember that although so much work flows around me, I am not in control. Our God is; and if we do not pray, we lose that perspective. I've moved into my office for the season, but what we really want is for the Holy Spirit to move into his.

Winter Teen Conference: More or Less?

2010-02-10T21:14:00.001-05:00

I'll be heading up to Alton, NH on Friday with a little under 200 teenagers and over 30 youth workers for a winter retreat. I'll be leading the worship team and caring for 5 middle-school boys.

It's that last part that I'm least prepared for. I've been thinking about songs, set lists, arrangements, and kids on the worship team; but I must admit that I have not begun to pray for those 5 boys or for myself as I lead them. In the world of ministry, it is tempting to think big-- especially when you're part of a thriving program that does lots of events. You tend to equate success with slick programming or numbers. But at its most fundamental level, every ministry is about individuals. The Holy Spirit may work in large-scale movements; but it begins with the opening of individual eyes and softening of individual hearts.

In the gospels, Jesus ministers to the crowds; but often appears to shun the crowd, too. There's a tension about his public, large-scale works of healing and exorcism: the more public he becomes, the more he tries to spend time alone with his disciples. Maybe its because he knows miraculous works and mass-teaching are necessary, but only insofar as they support the work of making disciples. So he tries to spend whatever time he can teaching his small group. Then, when all has been accomplished on the cross, he leaves his disciples with the imperative to "go make disciples of all nations."

For one who is called to minister, that call is to make disciples-- to care for individuals and feed them with God's means. But when some of us think about what it means to "do ministry" we think of planning games, having meetings, factoring logistics, designing worship, lesson or sermon planning, etc. Especially for pastors and lay-workers who have been involved for a long time, ministry begins to take on the veneer of a large enterprise that we have to keep afloat. There are advantages and disadvantages to the large model, but God forbid that "doing ministry" would distract us from Jesus' call to make disciples.

May the fewer outweigh the grosser during this weekend so that our work would not be in vain.

He Has Made Me Sing

2010-01-31T19:51:00.001-05:00

One of the things that first captivated my attention at church was the music. You might say that God put the language of song in me from an early age-- from singing along with vinyl records of Winnie the Pooh in the shaggy carpeted playroom of my childhood home, to singing all the time in pre-school and joining choir in Catholic school. But the grandeur and majesty of God first struck me through music when I was a choir boy at the choir school St. Paul's in Cambridge. Every morning, we would process into the cold marble church and kneel at the altar, opening with the same a cappella chant each time:

"Repleatur os meum laude tua ut possim cantare; gaudebunt labia mea dum cantavero tibi. (Fill me with praise that I might sing. My lips rejoice when I sing to You.) O Lord our God, through the intercession of the saints, Pius, Gregory, and Cecilia, grant us in thy mercy that through the praises we offer thee during our pilgrimage here on Earth, we may be found worthy to sing to Thee forever in heaven. In Christ our Lord, Amen"

Then the organ would burst forth and we would start the mass. We poked fun at the passionate headmaster and music director and of the songs that we sang; but while nobody would talk about it or admit it, when we sang mass, or liturgical music in a concert, we felt not just a thrill of music, but the majesty of God, if he was indeed real.

As my commitments and ties to the Catholic Church grew more distant when I began high school, I began attending youth group at the Boston Chinese Evangelical Church: a far cry from organs, stone church, and white-surpliced choir boys! But here, it was guitar or piano-led ballads which said something quieter and more personal:

"In the stars his handiwork I see; on wind he speaks with majesty. Though he ruleth over land and sea, what is that to me?... Until one day I met him face to face and felt the wonder of his grace, then I knew that He was more than just a God who didn't care, who lived away up there! Now He walks beside me day by day ever watching o'er me lest I stray, helping me to find the narrow way. He's everything to me!"

And while sometimes I felt like I hated the other kids who were more confident or popular than me, every time we had "Singspiration", my heart was thrilled with how it felt like God was speaking to me. That was before I understood the gospel, but somehow, I knew that what they were singing about was important and intensely valuable. It was songs that framed and taught me how to feel about God; and when I finally became aware of God's call on me to trust and follow Jesus, it was the songs I sang in my head in the hallways at school or while enduring the boredom of taking the train home which trained me to believe I was a new person in Christ.

It made sense then, for me to pick up the guitar. I didn't want to learn to impress people or to play for others. I just wanted to be able to play along while singing on my own at home. For the longest time, it seemed, I couldn't figure out the guitar. I spent money on books and tried to practice, but it was nothing but painful fingers and ugly sounding dead strings forced to plunk aloud by my clumsy strums. I asked the most talented peer I knew to help, but I was too difficult to teach. Then a patient counselor taught me three simple chords: D A G, so that I could play along with "Lord You are more Precious than Diamonds." I practiced it all night, and soon, after many obsessed all-night practice sessions, I could strum along to anything! Before long, singing and making music to the Lord were back as a big part of my life-- but this time, I knew what the words meant. That has continued with me from high school, through several worship teams, into college, into a tiny Vermont church, into a small urban church, and now into my youth ministry.

Worship leading is one of the parts of my current church ministry I enjoy most. As a youth group counselor, I get to work with teens, training and practicing with them to give their ears, hands, voices, and hearts to the Lord-- to show God's grandeur and majesty to others so that they could worship him. This past month, I've assembled a bunch of juniors and seniors from three churches to lead worship for our upcoming Winter Teen Conference, a joint retreat of about 200 kids. It has been a blast: there are moments when you hit a musical groove as a team-- and you're not trying to make something happen musically anymore because suddenly you realize that you're there. Then, the truth of what you're saying about God finds itself to the front of your mind and you look around and see that other folks on the team are in the same place, too; and that becomes a feedback loop of joy and awe, grounded firmly in the one whom you are singing about, but somehow also intimately connected with seeing other people worship God. Then every strum, every movement, every note sung seems to resonate with something greater-- echoes from the praises of the throngs and multitudes that will some day shout aloud in the very presence of God enthroned. It is what I was made for-- and it's that awareness that I hope to instill in this group of seven students this month.

Thank you, God, for your gift of music that speaks your holiness and love to me in a language that I could understand, even before I knew what it meant in words. Teach us to live in harmony with the song that we can glimpse only fleetingly through certain windows, which we try to sing with words and song and instruments, but ultimately must be lived. Make our lives and songs, thoughts and affections point to Christ, through whom you have counted us worthy to sing to you forever in heaven!

A Stable Lamp is Lighted

2009-12-12T23:17:00.004-05:00

A stable lamp is lighted
Whose glow shll wake the sky
The stars shall bend their voices
And every stone shall cry
And every stone shall cry
And straw like gold will shine
A barn shall harbour heaven
A stall become a shrine

This child through David’s city

Will ride in triumph by

The palm shall strew its branches

And every stone shall cry

Though heavy, dull and dumb

And lie within the roadway

To pave the Kingdom come

Yet He shall be forsaken

And yielded up to die

The sky shall groan and darken

And every stone shall cry

For thorny hearts of men

God’s blood upon the spearhead

God’s love refused again

But now as at the ending

The low is lifted high

The stars will bend their voices

And every stone shall cry

In praises of the child

By whose descent among us

The worlds are reconciled

- Richard Wilbur

Math is Wonderful! O_o

2009-11-17T23:02:00.001-05:00

There are a lot of things I like about planning Project Destiny each year. One of them is working alongside people who are very different from me. Here's an unexpected e-mail conversation among the team that took off into outer space before landing quite nicely. It was too good to keep to ourselves. Enjoy at your own risk.

Mathematical Formula for Creating Classes
20 messages

Steve Liu

Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 1:25 PM

To: Vernon Cheung, Kam Ho Lau, Emily Wu

Maybe this is really simple and I am overcomplicating it... but, is there a mathematical formula to figure out how many creating classes we need? Here are some parameters:

x campers

10 campers/ class session

y class sessions/ day

15 days

z classes

How do you solve for z? Am I looking at this problem the wrong way?

Steve

Vernon Cheung

Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 1:49 PM

To: Steve Liu

Cc: Kam Ho Lau, Emily Wu

z = (x campers /10) classes/cycle * 3 cycles

AKA: z = 3x/10

Steve Liu

Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 1:55 PM

To: Vernon Cheung

Cc: Kam Ho Lau, Emily Wu

What if the number of cycles is unknown? (i.e. what if we go back to 5 cycles with 3 creating classes each?)

Is it possible to factor in that variable using only x?

Steve

Vernon Cheung

Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 2:04 PM

To: Steve Liu

Cc: Kam Ho Lau, Emily Wu

It would still be: z = x * c / r

where z = classes, x = campers, c = cycles, and r = max campers per class

Actually, to be technical, it would be z = c * roundup(x / r) if you wanted r to be the max.

Steve Liu

Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 2:37 PM

To: Vernon Cheung

Cc: Kam Ho Lau, Emily Wu

I'm not sure if this factors in the limits of having only 15 days of classes and having to fit it all in that time span.

For example, if I have 50 campers and want to do 5 cycles, I end up with 25 classes, meaning there would have to be 5 classes per cycle, still. This would take us 25 creating days to do it (5 creating classes per week). But we only have 15 days (3 per week).

Is there a way to factor in the fact that we only have 15 days? I think this means that C has to be relative to X and a constant of 15 or something like that.

Thanks,

Steve

Vernon Cheung

Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 3:22 PM

To: Steve Liu

It still works.

Referring to my previous equation: z = c * ceiling(x / r)...

I assumed that the number of days of classes (in this case, d = 15 days) are factored into determining c, the number of cycles you want. In order to decide on c, you must assume a set d, since c must be a factor of d. And without first determining c, you can't determine z.

So I suppose you could add a phrase to the equation:

z = c * ceiling(x / r)

where z = classes, x = campers, c = a factor of 15, and r = max campers per class

In your example with x = 50 campers and c = 5 cycles, you didn't include r, the max campers per class. If you choose r = 10, you would get:

z = c * ceiling(x / r)
= 5 * ceiling(50 / 10)
= 5 * ceiling(5)
= 5 * 5
= 25 classes

which, with c = 5 cycles, means there would be 5 classes per cycle.

Vernon Cheung

Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 3:25 PM

To: Steve Liu

Cc: Kam Ho Lau, Emily Wu

Oops, forgot to send to everyone.

And oops, I think you did use r = 10, but just didn't mention it. I think the confusion came in the final number, 25, being total classes, not creating days.

Emily Wu

Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 3:31 PM

To: Vernon Cheung

Cc: Steve Liu, Kam Ho Lau

I'm glad you like math, Vernon! (whoa -- I first typed 'Bernon'!!)

I'm sure Kam Ho would've been happy to jump into this conversation too, but he's probably been at school (HS) all day.

math makes my head swim..... =(

Vernon Cheung

Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 4:00 PM

To: Emily Wu

Cc: Steve Liu, Kam Ho Lau

That's my should-be name!

Steve Liu

Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 4:27 PM

To: Vernon Cheung, Emily Wu, Kam Ho Lau

But there can't be 5 classes in a cycle if there are 5 cycles-- in actual weeks, that would mean having a creating class every day for 5 weeks! How can we limit the results to include the reality?

From a correct result, we need limits on what C can possibly be, since you can't have 5 cycles of 5 classes (giving you 25 days of class!) nor can you have 5 cycles of 3 classes (giving you 15 days of class, but more than 10 kids per class!)

My assumption here has been that C cannot be arbitrarily set. Everything has to somehow be able to be determined through X and the other constants only. Maybe we need a related equation for C.

Steve

Steve Liu

Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 4:33 PM

To: Vernon Cheung, Emily Wu, Kam Ho Lau

and k= z/c....so. OK, now I'm really stuck.

Kam Ho Lau

Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 7:51 PM

To: Steve Liu, Vernon Cheung, Emily Wu

Wait, the question that started this thing:

is there a mathematical formula to figure out how many creating classes we need?

The Number of Creating classes are determined by cycles and class per cycle. These are independent variables. This independent variable will determine the dependent variable such as however many students will be in the class (r).

So back to the how many creating classes we need,

It depends on how many cycles we want and how many classes per cycle.

So let K=number of class per cycle and let C=number of cycle, and Z= Number of Creating class

Z=KC. And we want Z<15, which will ended up by setting a restraint on the side.

So let Z=15, Then 15=KC. For Creating Classes should be whole numbers, the only factors of 15 are 1, 3, 5, 15.

So from that, we found that possible patterns are

1 cycle of 15 creating classes. (which is impossible, since that mean 15 classes have to go on at the same time)

3 cycle of 5 creating classes (this is what we are doing).

5 cycle of 3 creating classes (a cycle a week)

15 cycle of 1 creating classes (this is not what we want, since it means that there will be just 1 class).

Now that we analyzed the data,

We can plug in to the formula. Let R=campers in each class in the cycle, X=total number of campers at camp, we will have the formula that X/K=R

For each case, we can put C=number of cycle and K=number of classes.

Let X=50

For C=1, K=15, 50/15=3.333 students per class

For C=3, K=5, 50/5=10 students per class

For C=5, K=3, 50/3=16.667 students per class

For C=15, K=1, 50/1=50 students per class

The equation that Vernon had, Z=X*C/R is right, but it is just that because you have given too much independent variable. There actually arent that much independent variables, so you cant actually plug in numbers as you did earlier.

Z is a number less than 15, so thats a constraint
With that, C and K are suppose to be whole numbers which is another constraint.
The number of students in a class is determined by the K (the number of classes), so you cant just plug a number in for R.
Basically, Only X (Number of campers) and Z (number of creating class) are independent variable.
So with your formula in looking for an independent variable, it does not work like this, since mathematics, you plug in an independent variable to obtain the dependent variable.

I set a spreadsheet, further similate the process. You can change number in the green columns (A and D) and other numbers will appear.

http://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=0AnVBxZYXnTWndGRoVlhnWXJfNGVaNHNNWUdON1NfNGc&hl=en

Remember only whole numbers work, since you cant have part of a class or part of a student (thats why we found factors earlier).

Let me know if you have nay questions.

Kam Ho

Vernon Cheung

Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 8:46 PM

To: Kam Ho Lau

Cc: Steve Liu, Emily Wu

kh,

Your equation works, but not for what Steve asked for. Steve wanted to find Z, but you're setting Z and X to begin with.

Steve wants Z, given the rest of the variables.

So the question remains unsolved.

Kam Ho Lau

Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 8:55 PM

To: Vernon Cheung

Cc: Steve Liu, Emily Wu

Given the constraint that steve gave, Steve had turn Z into an independent variable. Thus you cant solve for just one equation when Z is pre-determined, which turns it more a dependent. In an equation there should exist some independent and some variable that are dependent. If both C Cycle and K Classes are independently selected, then Z can be anything. In order to set a constraint, Both K and C are to be a factor.

Steve wants Z given the rest of the variable. It will not be possible, since the other variable depends on Z. because steve has set Z<15. So basically plugging in other numbers only give us a number with no factor that Z<15. This is actually something that is harder to limit its function behavior.

So what steve actually needs to do is to have systems of equations for which we can solve for the feasible region and putting it back into the Z equation to find which is more efficient.

Kam Ho

Steve Liu

Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 9:23 PM

To: Kam Ho Lau

Cc: Vernon Cheung, Emily Wu

Thank you all for the math lesson. This has now officially gone off the deep end of my understanding. I have a sense that Kam Ho's last sentence is what I was thinking all along, but didn't know how to articulate in math terms. But I didn't know that there would be no way to put this into even a very complicated formula. Can't multi-variable calculus help us?

Steve

Vernon Cheung

Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 9:49 PM

To: Kam Ho Lau

Cc: Steve Liu, Emily Wu

Take a look at Sheet 2 of the spreadsheet.

Given the number of campers = 50, we choose a max number of campers we want in a class in each cycle. Let's say 11. So we need 4.54545... classes per cycle, which we would have to round up to 5 (each class would have 10 campers, which still satisfies the max allowable).

Then we choose a number of cycles, which we agree must be a factor of 15 since there are 15 days of creating classes. 1 and 15 are unrealistic, so we choose either 3 or 5 cycles for the summer.

Column E are the total number of classes we need for the entire summer if we have 3 cycles. Column F are the total classes if have 5 cycles.

So for 50 campers, 10 campers per class, 5 cycles, you need 25 classes (as stated several emails ago). Of course, with 25 classes and 5 cycles, that means we have 5 classes over the course of 3 days. Which means not every camper will experience every creating class.

To solve this dilemma, we realize that with 5 cycles, each class may only meet 3 times, which means there should only be 3 classes per cycle. Similarly, with 3 cycles, we see that each class may only meet 5 times, which means there should only be 5 classes per cycle. In either case, K * C must be 15. In other words, K * C = Z = 15. Z must be 15. So we should only look at the pink boxes with Z = 15 (I bolded them).

I believe this solves the case!

So it turns out that Z is constant, and K must either be 3 or 5. All you have to input is the number of students, and what you get in the end is R, the max number of campers you can allow in a class.

So this equation actually solves for how many campers we can let into a class, since Z will always be 15 given the way our camp days are set up. So to solve the equation for R, I've simplified everything in Sheet 3.

Steve Liu
Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 9:58 PM

To: Vernon Cheung
Cc: Kam Ho Lau, Emily Wu

Props! We have solved it (mostly Kam Ho and Vernon... no credit to Emily except for moral support). Sheet three is actually pretty useful.

Steve

Steve Liu
Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 10:05 PM

To: Vernon Cheung
Cc: Kam Ho Lau, Emily Wu

I'm really impressed! Math is wonderful! I'm so close to understanding how this all came together... but it does exactly what I wanted it to AND it clarified which variable we were looking for (not Z but R!!!) I never would have guessed that.

Steve

Vernon Cheung
Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 10:11 PM

To: Steve Liu
Cc: Kam Ho Lau, Emily Wu

I guess, to put it simply, if each camper were to go to a creating class each of the 15 days and participate in all creating classes by the end of summer, it makes sense that we will always need 15 classes. Z shouldn't have been a variable, but a constant!

In the end, the equation comes out to be:

R = roundup(X / K), where K = Z / C, with
R is the max campers per class per cycle,
X is the # campers,
K is the number of classes per cycle,
Z = 15 is the number of classes, and
C is the number of cycles, which would realistically be 3 or 5.

Kam Ho Lau
Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 10:11 PM

To: Steve Liu
Cc: Vernon Cheung, Emily Wu

wow impressive. ...
Yes, Math is wonderful! And this is one way how we can apply 4 years of Math Education into Ministry! =P
Kam Ho

Guest Blogger: C-Town Librarian

2009-11-14T10:32:00.007-05:00

This month, I'll feature a guest blogger, Emily Wu. She's volunteering at the Chinatown Storefront Library, an involvement I'd love to take if I were still living in the area. She hosts "English Conversations with Emily" on the days that she volunteers. Her words:

I'm sitting in a beanbag chair in the Drawing Lab section of the the temporary Chinatown Storefront Library, a nice cozy place to be on a rainy fall afternoon. Glancing around as I walked in, I counted easily 20+ others here. Most look like they live in Chinatown-- children huddled together on the stools that make up the "children's pod," and elderly men and women reading newspapers in the "reading room" area that they have claimed as their own. The red-cushioned stools that are usually stored under the shelves have been pulled out and arranged to form a circle in the corner, creating a sense of community where a family is gathered, reading together.

From my vantage point, the lines a curves of the space are pleasing to the eye-- the suspended lighting over the contoured shelving constructed by the Harvard grad students, the black-and-white wall to my left, covered with drawings by youth and children.

Sam Davol just walked by with a high-school-aged volunteer, showing her the ropes or perhaps giving her an assignment. I realize that the volunteer is a former Project Destiny camper! (Later on she notices me too and greets me as "Ms. Wu." =) ) It's much busier here now than on a Wednesday afternoon, when I first came in to volunteer.

As I write in my journal, I also engage in another favorite pastime of mine-- people-observing. The father and daughter who were in the circle of cushioned chairs are now in the Drawing Lab, speaking Cantonese. But the daughter reads the directions to the touch station and zoetrope aloud in English. She likes when her dad is nearby, watching her. Whenever he starts to move away to another area, she looks up from her work and calls out to him.

A mother and son have entered the Drawing Lab. Mom tells her toddler, “¡Siéntate!” on the chairs and also exclaims, “¡Qué lindo!” over the drawings on the wall. Dad speaks to the boy in English but then switches to Spanish with an American accent to say that it's raining out and they should leave soon.

The Cantonese-speaking father is now speaking English to his daughter, as he shows her something in a book about hot air balloons. "Interesting things here... you see?"

A pair of sisters comes in and takes over the Drawing Lab activities. "Jie jie! Can I copy you??" This appeal is repeated three times by the younger sister until the older sister deigns to notice and gives her assent.

More than a place for books and educational resources, a library in Chinatown can bring a neighborhood together. People who would be considered "strangers" in any other setting become "neighbors" when we share an afternoon at the library. Already this temporary storefront library has become a gathering place. It has been open for 8 days. I wonder if and how we'll feel the loss when it's all over in three months.

Like Francis of Assisi

2009-10-21T13:38:00.001-04:00

You may have heard the legends of St. Francis of Assisi, who would preach to birds and they would listen to him. Is it possible that I am mastering the art of attracting animals? Am I becoming more like St. Francis? You judge:

Picture taken at Ipswich River yesterday. The bird was a Black-Capped Chickadee. I think bird watching (and attracting) will be my next hobby if I can't fish.

Getting Paid as...

2009-10-19T23:02:00.000-04:00

Reading week was pretty productive-- I got a lot of reading done and had some time to earn some money... as a bouncer. Well, perhaps my title wasn't bouncer. It was more like "hired helper," but the job was mostly guarding the door of the new Storefront Chinatown Library during their opening ceremony. I got to stand next to and greet Mayor Menino, Councilor Flaherty, and Councilor Yoon all at once! (notice my gaze directed not to the Mayor, but to my buddy Sam Tsoi, Sampan reporter covering the event) Moreover, I got to reconnect with a few folks in the neighborhood, helping me to feel as if I wasn't totally disconnected from what's happening in Chinatown.

If you go back a few months on this blog, you'll know that for a while, I was involved on a neighborhood committee to plan and recommend a Boston Public Library branch library in Chinatown. This privately funded "Storefront Library" is something that grew out of that process. After we finished our work as a committee, the city did not allocate funding for a new branch, so many of those who were involved, including one of the architects for the project and various community groups continued to push for SOMETHING. That something ended up being this Storefront Library, organized by Sam and Leslie Davol on Washington St.

It is temporary, which is good. That lack of permanence highlights the need for a true city-funded library-- though in tough times like these for the city, who knows when that will happen? In any case, it's a nice, though small library and it's the type of thing I'd like to be involved in if I were in town. Go check it out if you're in town.

more info: http://www.wbur.org/2009/10/15/chinatown-library

32 Inches!!!

2009-09-25T23:20:00.001-04:00

striper...

i <3 singing beach...

(in addition to other things and people)

Thoughts on Preaching Class

2009-09-17T18:57:00.005-04:00

I had my first preaching class today. As I was saying in my last post, I am very excited to see what the Lord will show me in this class. Dr. Gibson has been here for some time and he directs the preacher training program here at Gordon Conwell. Highlights and thoughts from class:

I'm one of the students with the most preaching experience there. This does not mean I preach well or better than anybody else in the class. It's just surprising that most of my classmates have had fewer preaching opportunities, aside from those who are much older than me.

Explaining what expositional preaching is not, Dr. Gibson preached a 6 minute "sermon", deadpan, on "Old Mother Hubbard", expounding on each word in the poem: Old, mother, hubbard, went, cupboard. My favorite moment: "Indeed, we all love to go to the cupboard, don't we? We love going to it because it's just there!" I felt sorry for the international students who might not have known what was going on.

This is not just Dr. Gibson, but also many other preaching profs as well: there is the sense here that the preacher is the intermediary between God's word and his people. The exact words that wereused is that the pastor is a"bridge between two worlds." I have a high view of the importance of preaching and the role of the preacher, but I don't think I agree with this idea. It seems to imply that lay-people have no chance of understanding God's word without a special in-between guy who interprets the Bible. It suggests we are the messangers, we are the ones with God's authority, we are at the center of God's communication to his people-- it's all resting on us... What happened to the priesthood of all believers? Doesn't the Holy Spirit minister in lay people as well as ordained? Jesus was the final intermediary between God and Man. We don't need to set up another. Preachers are not bridges, nor priests, nor special prophets. We're called to be shepherds, to lead God's people to the green pastures of his living Word. They can read that word themselves without us. Our work on Sundays and Fridays and other preaching days should result in a greater hunger for God's word and God's people growing in reading and obeying that word on their own. What do you think is the preacher's role in relation to God's word and his people?

It has been a restful week: not much work yet and no sermon this Friday.

Moving Back In

2009-09-10T09:06:00.004-04:00

Year Two of seminary begins tomorrow. I'll be moving into my room tonight and getting ready for my first class Hebrew, which starts tomorrow. Energy-wise, I am ready-- as I relearned this summer, three weeks of rest is more than enough. But I've forgotten a lot of my Greek and studying seems like a foreign concept after an action-packed summer. There is a mental shift I need to make to get back into student-mode.

It is exciting to get back into structure and purpose. There are many things I miss about Project Destiny, but one of them is waking up every day to see the same people, following a predictable routine, with every minute of the day directed purposefully toward ministering the Gospel. I'm looking forward to applying that same kind of focus once again to my studies.

This semester, I'll be taking my first preaching class! I'm not sure exactly how long I've been preaching God's word-- perhaps only three years, but it feels longer. Nevertheless, I've never taken a real class in preaching; and aside from some tips from a few pastors, I've mostly just picked up techniques from listening to others. I'm eager for God to use Dr. Gibson and the class to shape the way I preach.

Finally, I will mention a fellow seminary blogger whom some of you will know: the venerable Doctor Chu has joined me, along with a few other guys I know from my home church, BCEC. Calvin's blog is http://calvin-at-seminary.blogspot.com/. I hope you will hop on over to his site and pray for him; but please continue to read my blog and pray for me! It's like McDonald's and Chick-Fil-A: you don't have to choose one over the other.

Please drop me a note if there is some way I can be praying for you as you pray for me.

PD Final Update

2009-09-02T11:04:00.008-04:00

Dear Friends—

Project Destiny ended a little less than a month ago. I’ve gotten plenty of opportunities to rest up between then and now, even with helping program a youth retreat and planning our Fall teaching series scattered in there. It was a bonus to be able to go to Cape Cod for biking, bird-watching, and camping in August. I’m just about ready to head back to school and I’ll soon be spending time reviewing Greek and getting used to thinking academically again.

I’m really grateful for having had another opportunity to direct PD again. Last year, as I may have told you, was a tough summer that God used to teach me a lot about leading and caring for people. This year, I got to apply some of those lessons to a new team. Once again, this year, God showed me that I am not the shepherd that He wants me to be yet—I am more task oriented than I thought and love people less than I imagine. But He is leading me in that direction and shaping me in that way. By his grace, we fielded an outstanding team that learned to depend on the Lord through the daily ups and downs of ministry life together.

One of the things I like most about directing PD is having a team that might not usually work together. That was the case this year as our young and diverse team came together from Newton, Chinatown, suburbs, the city, out of state, out of country, and many different walks of life. One of the first devotionals of the summer was the passage in 1 Corinthians, which speaks of care for one another as a defining characteristic of Christ’s Body. The first day of training, I must say, was a little quiet. People didn’t intermingle very much. And during free times, instead of playing, everyone would just work on their lesson plans! I began to wonder if this team would ever gel to the point of opening up to one another. But over the course of the next few weeks, as we spent more time together, God knit the team closer together. At our overnight retreat, we had an extraordinary time sharing about how God had shown grace, an evening punctuated by spontaneous singing! The very next week, we saw personalities come out in an uplifting time of candlepin bowling on one of the team nights.

As camp started the team dealt with the day-to-day challenges of working together. We encountered our own expectations and shortcomings as well as God’s faithfulness and provision. Throughout camp, I sprinkled in several devotionals about the resources that the gospel gives us to love one another. I taught on patience vs. grace, how our seeing our own sinfulness enables us to love, and how we only begin to truly love people when we deal with their sin. What a huge privilege it was to lead this team from the point of not knowing each other to the point of almost knowing each other too well! It was amazing to see how God’s Word is always fruitful and applicable to every situation and that his Holy Spirit in us helps us to respond to that Word, giving us insight and changing us to better glorify and proclaim Jesus as savior and lord.

As far as campers go, we had 50 students this year. 37 of them decided to come to Summer Teen Conference, our church’s regular youth group retreat. Up to 10 kids said they wanted to receive Jesus as their savior—praise God! While I’m grateful for those numbers, I know it is the work of the Holy Spirit to hold and sustain those campers and that not all planted seeds will yield a lasting crop. More encouraging to me is the numbers of PD kids who expressed interest in attending regular youth group, where they can continually hear God’s Word preached and where they can be cared for by adult counselors. In years past, I remember having huge farewells and lots of hugs at the end of camp because we were unsure of when we’d see each other again. This year, there were fewer of those. I like to think it’s because more of them know they’ll probably see each other at youth group. It takes a long time to make a disciple—I know it usually doesn’t happen in one summer. So praise God for the campers that continue coming to church regularly, who make up about 40% of our regular Friday night ministries!

As September comes, I’ll be back at regular youth work. It seems I’m getting deeper and deeper into the planning of the Friday Night ministry. I remember when I began youth work—I was a three-month call-up to my friend’s Dorchester church to help set up a worship band of teenagers. Now God has put me in a church with resources to do large-scale urban ministry—He has given me much of the responsibility for teaching and shepherding 80 youths, as well as directing the summer entry-point for the majority of the newcomers. It’s crazy, scary, and humbling at the same time. Please pray for me as I depend on the Lord to show me how to balance my time between ministry, seminary, relationships, and possibly work in the Fall.

I hope to be back at this for PD 2010. Lord wiling, we’ll begin planning for the next summer in October or November. I’ll try to keep y’all updated via my sadly mismanaged blog: bostonministry.blogspot.com

Thanks for all your prayers and support! Please feel free to catch me to ask me about anything . You’ve been a huge blessing to me this summer in providing for my needs and praying for me. Thanks again!

Peace,

Steve

Images: 1) Cape Cod Biking 2) Some counselors at my house in Quincy celebrating my 28th Birthday 3) Two counselors hard at work

Mid-Camp Update

2009-07-28T22:31:00.004-04:00

July 25, 2008

Dear Friends,

I hope you are well and making the most of the summer. Already we’re at the half-way point of our camp here at Project Destiny. Thanks for your prayers and financial support. I have a few updates to tell you about:

One of the things I was most concerned about was the numbers of campers vs. the numbers of counselors—young counselors at that! To put it in perspective, there is one senior counselor who is 28, which is my age. The next oldest is 24, then 22, 19, 18, 18, and 17. That makes 7 senior counselors, most under 20 years old, most with very little experience working with middle-schoolers. Praise God, though: While our staff struggles to apply the love of Christ consistently, God has been equipping us so that the 50 campers we have don’t seem so many. It is a challenge, but God is teaching us to work together with the entire staff to cover and help each other.
Sicknesses have come, depleting our numbers, especially during the 3^rd week, when we were missing at least one counselor every day. It was encouraging to see everyone covering for one another, even when some of those covering for others weren’t feeling 100% either. I’m also thankful that our counselors happened to get sick on days when their responsibilities were fewer, making it easier to cover their roles.
I’m more than half way through with all my preaching and teaching for the summer. Over the past few weeks, I’ve preached 6 lessons and prepared 20 devotionals for the staff. I’ve never spent so much time thinking about God’s word and how to apply it to the circumstances of people around me. The Lord has been growing my confidence in this area greatly with each passing day.
The kids are really enjoying camp. With every shared experience, they are opening up more to their counselors and one another. They’ve been bonding over field trips, like a cruise to George’s Island, a visit to Old Sturbridge Village, and massive multi-player action-flex sword melee battles. Many of the new-comers to PD have visited our regular Jr. High English ministry, TWR.

Alright, that’s all I will write for now. I’d love to tell you more, but perhaps I can tell some of it in person. I can’t believe there’s only 2 more weeks of camp until it ends. Sometimes it feels like we’ve been here for ages. Sometimes it feels like it’s been so fast and I’m afraid it will slip by before I really get to appreciate all that God is showing me and giving me the opportunity to do. ..

Please pray for diligence, energy, and passion for our staff as they approach the final stretch. It is easy to get complacent now that the end is in sight.
Please pray for me as I give two more sermons. I want to be able to connect the gospel to the lives of the campers. I’ll be preaching on Thursday and next Tuesday.

Thanks!
Steve

Project Destiny 2009 First Week

2009-07-06T14:03:00.007-04:00

Hi Friends. I'm back in Project Destiny once again. Today was actually the first day of camp (we're still in it as I write). We've got 48 campers who arrived and learned how to find references in a Bible today, some kids who have never looked into a Bible before, and most of whom have not looked at one within the month (counting by a show of hands). As you may recall, this is my major project during the bulk of the year and especially during the summer.

This is my second year directing the program here in Chinatown, and I'm having a blast. My favorite part of all this is the way God has been bringing our team together over the past 2 weeks of training. They come from all over the place and are from different age groups, but God is molding us into a team that shows the unity of Christ's Body. I've been giving devotionals every day (I'm running out of creativity!) and soon I'll be preaching our evangelistic messages during our chapel times

I'm actually writing to send a quick request out for prayer. Thanks to those of you who asked how I've been. Due to some logistical licensing stuff, I didn't get much sleep last night (the night before camp started) and I'm very tired. Please pray that I'd get rest and also that the Lord would keep me from letting self-serving and grace-less motives take over my interactions with others in my tiredness this week. I love being here, and helping others to be Christ's ambassadors in the city-- pray that I would continue to serve with joy and love.

Thanks!

(picture: the busy street and building at Emerson College on Boyleston St. where I'm living this summer with the PD Counselor Staff)

Rising Drop Out Rate for Boston's ELL's

2009-04-07T10:59:00.004-04:00

A report will be released tomorrow by UMass Boston and the Center for Collaborative Education showing how the "English Only" rule in Boston's public schools has led to a doubling of drop-out rates by English Language Learners. If you might remember, back in 2002, Boston voted to enact the rule and erase bilingual education from the books so that all students would learn through "immersion." The report that will be released will show how, over a period of two years, student drop out rates have gone from 6% to 12% among immigrant children.

I am by no means a proponent of bilingual education. My mother was a bilingual educator for many years and even she would claim that there was much to be desired in that system: many teachers, whose comfort level in English was lower, would fail to help students transition; and parents would elect to keep their children in bilingual programs, stunting their children's growth. Students, too, would self-segregate along linguistic and (ultimately) ethnic lines. However, with that said, the inadequate programs we had back then were better than the ones we have now.

Frankly, I am not surprised at the findings of this report. It confirms my experiences over the past four years of teaching English at a 6-12 school. There was not a single year that I didn't encounter three or more students whom I could not devote enough of my personal resources to. Though I can't list them here, each of their names come to mind as I type-- they are phantoms that haunt me whenever I evaluate how I, as a member of an educating team, "left behind" many kids. There were the ones who began the year already jaded, who had long ago decided to give up. There were the few who were excited to get a brand new start, but then buckled under the weight of unreachable standards. I stayed with a student after school for 2 hours a day once; but it was never enough. They couldn't read. They couldn't understand the assignments. They were lonely and bored and, eventually, bitter. And they were under-served. During my time in the school, no fewer than ten of my students dropped out or had to transfer out of the system-- and we were considered one of the better clusters in the district.

The "English Only" folks will get defensive here-- and they are right to be because they are being blamed for ruining the futures of a 6% of our language learner youths per year! While there are a lot of reasons for parents, advocates, politicians, and ultimately teachers and students to take that position and be angry, I want to step back from that and deal with the realities we've got instead of the ideological should-haves.

The problem is not with whether you've got an "English Only" school or a bilingual system. In fact in a perfect world, you might have schools that model both within the same district and parents could choose. The reason, however, that the "English Only" rule was so devasting to Boston was that it came from outsiders who had no intimate knowledge of what the school system was like. And when schools were required to implement it, often against their better judgment and will, we weren't ready.

A lot of folks will say that it should be easy-- their grandparents didn't have any "special programs" to help them learn English and they did fine. Just drop 'em in and make 'em swim! The problem with this is that the picture, especially in urban districts, has gotten very complicated. With increasing numbers of minorities and people living in ethnically divided neighborhoods, there is no world of "correct English" from which these students can absorb the language. Also, consider the numbers of special needs learners that are integrated into every single classroom in the district: there is no way that a teacher can tackle giving the extra attention to both the ELL kids AND special needs learners at once, especially once you get into the secondary school level, where kids rotate through a minimum of six teachers a day. But if they don't get this from extra attention by the teacher, where will they get it? This is why supplemental ELL classes (traditionally "ESL") are needed in bountiful supply.

Over the past four years of teaching, that was a reality that I tried to work with and around. There were times I tried to be that program. There were times I gritted my teeth and told my self to be realistic-- it's just a fact of life that I'll lose some. And there were times when I gave a shot at advocating for hiring changes so that there would be more money designated for ELL teachers . There were times I did my best; and there were times when, honestly, I was too tired to try do my best. In the end, though, we weren't ready because we didn't have the programs, teachers, training, and money in place to do what we needed to do.

A lot of people will be reading that report in the next few days. But teachers who have seen it all and wrestled with these failures won't be surprised at the numbers-- after all, the numbers are never worse than the stories behind them. If anything, maybe many of us will breath a sigh of cathartic relief that the dirty little secret is finally out.

A not-so-radical proposal: Our schools need to hire full-time, full service ELL teachers. You cannot turn back the clocks now on "English Only." There's no money in the city to hire an entire parallel system of teachers who speak Spanish, Cantonese, Mandarin, Portugese and more. But what we have to do is make sure our ELL programs are adequately funded and have enough teachers, whose schedule and pay allows them to focus ONLY on ELL issues and students. ELL classes need to have no more than six students for every one adult. There must be a department of English Language Learner Education in every school that has more than 20 ELL students with a department head who has a reduced teaching load. Regular classes must have a paraprofessional to assist students for every class that has 2 or more ELL kids who are classified in the lowest proficiency category. Even when implemented to the full measure of this proposal, this would cost far less than returning to "bilingual" education; and I have no doubt that it would not only lower the drop-rates among ELL and regular students alike, but it would also significantly improve test scores across the board.

When you have no money...

2009-03-04T12:59:00.006-05:00

When I arrived at seminary, several people I talked to spoke of the money-saving virtue of cutting your own hair. Down to my last $___, I finally thought I'd give it a try. Emily was visiting, and on a whim decided to help me complete my seminary experience. I know many of you may be strapped for cash, too, in these hard times, and I want to encourage you to consider the possibilities. It took 3 hours, but I'm sure once you get some practice it goes a lot quicker. I considered not posting these, but when I was assured that this was an integral part of the seminary experience, I decided to share:

At one point, a mistake occurred that appeared irredeemable. My hair was contoured with locks of hair on the back of my head much shorter than the hair on the side of my head! I was ready to shave it all off... but with expert craftsmanship, my new favorite hair-stylist fixed it. It strikes me that, Biblically and in my own experience, just when you think you're done, God is just getting started. He is the master hair-stylist... or potter. (no, emily didn't take her hair off and put it on mine, so that she had bad hair and I had good hair... this is not an illustration of substitutionary atonement!)

p.s. this is not a subtle plea for financial support... really, it's not!

Retreat! Retreat!

2009-03-04T11:56:00.009-05:00

Boy, it's been an exciting whirlwind of a month! I wanted to quickly update to those of you who still read this thing and (gasp) even pray for me!

Winter Teen Conference

January was all about preparing for Winter Teen Conference, our church youth retreat (which had 230 kids this year!). I was tasked with assembling and preparing an inter-church worship team to lead our retreat in worship. Meeting over the course of two months, we rehearsed, prayed, trained our hearts and attitudes, and ate together. Then we went to Conference in February and played and worshiped our hearts out. If you have talked to me before about worship, you know my thoughts about the difference between "lead worshipers" and "band members"-- a band member plays to glorify music or himself; a "lead worshiper" joins the singing in their music and in their example to help others glorify God. During that weekend, the kids were musically excellent, faithful with the small stuff, level-headed, and most impressively, they took seriously their role of being "lead worshipers." I think I realized that one night as we were gathered around in a powerful time of prayer before a worship set. God certainly worked in the lives of those teenagers... it was a lot of fun and a big encouragement to worship with them.

Serving the Servants

More recently, I got to expand my ministry repertoire. Last weekend, I did some "college ministry" (ok maybe you wouldn't call it that!) . The college group at BCEC had its retreat, and I got to attend... as the childcare provider for two of the staff-workers' families! It took me back to those years that I was working at Mary Johnson's Children's Center and wondered if that was what I'd be satisfied doing for the rest of my life. With only four young children and both Emily and me to share the work, it was more fun than challenging as we did stuff like read "The Pigeon Eats a Hot Dog", have bacon for snack, and go on a scavenger hunt. Though I didn't get as much homework done as I hoped to, it was a very nice, different weekend as I got to be a servant to those who were serving others.

Studies...

Meanwhile, I've fallen a little behind on my studies... as in thousands of pages behind. Still, the Lord continues to provide. For example, I didn't get my Word Study paper done on time for class on Monday, but I got an extension because we had a snow storm that shut down the school. Maybe God won't always give me an extension like that, but I'm reminded that I can trust the Lord whenever I follow his promptings to serve or to put priorities on things outside my own narrow interests and inside the interests of his kingdom and glory.

pictures-- top: worship team at WTC, bottom: scavenger hunt to find a snowman (we just built it)

New Term and Philemon

2009-01-13T15:40:00.006-05:00

I hope to do better than one post per month in the future.

Well, the break in between classes was shorter than I expected. In fact, I managed to miss two classes of my January Term course, Christ in the Old Testament. Last Monday night, I happened to be browsing the Gordon-Conwell web site, when I found out that the term had begun the on the preceding Friday! I packed up my things and made the drive back immediately. Thankfully, when I arrived at the next class, we hadn't gotten very far. I had missed two-ninths of the class, yet we were still on Genesis 1:2! I was very grateful for my American Literature training in undergrad as I caught up with 200 pages of reading over the next two days.

Meanwhile, the youth ministry is in the middle of a short series in Philemon (though I don't suppose you could have a long series in Philemon, could you?). In the shortest of Paul's letters, he writes to Philemon, apparently a slave owner who has been wronged by his runaway slave, Onesimus, and implores him to receive the newly converted slave as his brother. It stands as a beautiful portrait of how the Gospel holds power to transform the paradigms of our human relationships. It was fun to design the series; and the first talk, which I delivered last week, went well. Although the letter is less than a page in lenght, I have acquired nearly 1,000 pages of commentary on it!

Final Exams

2008-12-10T16:07:00.004-05:00

This semester has passed and I'm, like most students, in final exams. It has been a long time since I have joined the company of students who do this two times every year. Seminary is similar to college in this regard. Everywhere you go, there are students with their noses in text books (some of them for only the second or third time this semester!) while they eat, walk, or do anything else that does not require total concentration. There is one room set up next to my suite called the study lounge-- a place I dare not go because of an overwhelming presence of stress which hovers there. Seminarians, like other people, sometimes get cranky when they get stressed and I've overheard a number of distressed and complaining conversations that rival those found in undergrad universities.

I'm doing fine. 2 exams and one paper down, 1 exam and 3 papers left to go. For sure, this beats grading papers and recording final grades. There is a safety and comfort in knowing that any sudden lapse on my part would result only in my own harm and not the harm of 86 students besides. And, to tell the truth, I really enjoy this. God has now given me the discipline to be the kind of study freak I always sort of envied in college. I feel like I'm testing out the four wheel drive of a new truck.

The series on Jonah at TWR will be done after this Friday, with Pastor Enoch book-ending the series. Meanwhile, the junior high kids will be coming over to my ancestral home once again for another Christmas Spectacular. The next two months will be focused on whatever the new preaching series will be, the recruitment of counselors for Project Destiny, and on building a multi-church worship team for our 200-something person-large youth retreat, slated for February. I'm excited.

Big Week Summary

2008-11-16T18:26:00.003-05:00

Woohoo! Reading week is over and classes are about to resume; but it has been a big week. Tuesday was my silent retreat day at Notre Dame Spirituality Center in Ipswich; Wednesday was the prison visit and sermon; Friday I preached twice; and Saturday our youth group worship team had its long awaited practice.

It has encouraging week. As I look forward to the time when more and more of my weeks may look like this past one, my faith is being expanded to see how God can accomplish more through me than I reasonably try to imagine. Not that sermons and meetings are the goal of ministry-- life change is; but if those are the means by which God works out transformations, then it's encouraging to see that I can at least keep up with the work load.

The second message on Friday night, by the way, found its way home into somebody-- the teens are a good, welcoming group to teach to.

I wish I had pictures to show you, but I wasn't allowed to bring a camera to the prison... imagine an inmate three times my size death-grip-handshaking me while another guy lifts me up via wedgie. (just kidding... they were very very very warm and brotherly)

MCI Shirley Visit

2008-11-12T23:02:00.003-05:00

I just returned from a visit to MCI Shirley-- one of the Massachusetts prisons-- where I got to worship and preach at the medium security evening worship service. It was awesome! The men there were hospitable (one of the guys kept bringing me water) and introduced themselves. The chapel was packed-- I'd say we had 80 or more guys there from all over the demographic scale. Blacks, Whites, Hispanic, at least one Asian guy, elderly gentlemen, middle-aged men, and some fiery younger guys, about my age. There were new believers and folks who had been in church forever.

Perhaps where it was different, though, was a the real sense of joy and thankfulness that was there the whole night. It wasn't a fake emotional high, either-- they were themselves for the most part; but they were grateful to be in church, to worship the Lord and have fellowship with one another. It was so different from my experiences at some larger, big-scale churches I've been to. It reminded me a lot of what drew me towards ministry at the Dorchester church where I used to serve-- the warmth and gratitude that didn't lose sight of reality, but praised God in spite of it. I love visiting and being at churches like that. I wish I could get to know those folks better-- I bet some of them have some amazing stories of God's work in their lives.

My sermon went well. The sermon from Jonah 1 was entitled "Mercy That Won't Let Go" and it was about how we hate to ask for mercy, but the God who chases us down with storms is the same God who runs after us with arms wide open, literally dying to show us mercy if we turn around and ask him for it. Their liveliness and encouragement made them the easiest bunch I ever had to preach in front of. I pray that the word would take root and bear fruit in their lives. This was probably the best part of this first semester for me. Thanks for praying =)

Preaching again this Friday... Jonah 2 this time. I'm still working on the hermeneutical idea... it hasn't appeared yet. If you'll lift up a prayer for me, I'd be grateful.

The Weight of Voting

2008-11-03T21:57:00.003-05:00

I believe it was eight years ago, my second year in college, that I was huddled in Xenia house in Middlebury, along with a friend nervously awaiting the results of the presidential election. You may remember that it was the year of the Hanging Chad and Florida Recounts. I didn't know much back then... earlier in the day, I had gone down to the town gym to cast my ballot for George W. Bush because he was a conservative who agreed with my stance on abortion and other litmus test issues. Over the next few years, I always felt the responsibility of having elected him. When Mr. Bush soared and inspired the country in 2001, I felt that. When we saw the mistakes that came after-- Iraq, No Child Left Behind, etc., I felt that, too.

I don't know if I know much more now than I did then. I may still be blinded by qualities that I admire or positions that I believe are sacred which may turn out to be non-factors after all. But I do want to be more intentional about weighing my vote. In the end, God will elect the leader that he has in his plan-- whether for our temporal good or for our temporal evil-- but I'd hope to choose the one for our temporal good.

In an election year like this, it is harder than ever to know how to vote. The issues that have defined the evangelical platform are no longer so agreed upon. There is much dissatisfaction with the American church's tie to the conservative agenda and with the Republican party's candidate. The policies of small government are frankly un-biblical as the government is ordained to hold up the downtrodden against poverty.

The Democratic Party, however, continues to be a tough swallow for most evangelicals because of its acceptance of the abortion practice (I won't quote numbers, but astronomically more preborn kids lose their lives every year than total casualties of war in Iraq-- including civilians.) It is this one issue that prevents me from registering as a Democrat. Other unbiblical areas of the liberal social platform are less egregious to me (same sex marriage, school prayer).

Who is a candidate who can set an example of integrity, justice, compassion, responsibility, wisdom, humility, and faith while always choosing the right? There probably is none. But I'll vote for one that looks close enough.

Pray, Christians. Conscience demands it. Pray.

Update on Jonah sermon-- it went well considering it was my first time back. I had fun listening to the distracted comments of 6th grade boys that punctuated my talk. It might have been a little abstract for them-- the idea being that God chases down runaways to show them mercy.

I'll be preaching again next Wednesday, at a state penitentiary-- same Jonah text-- and next Friday to the youth.

Teaching Once Again

2008-10-30T16:19:00.003-04:00

It has been some time, but I am finally going back to teaching this Friday. I'll be giving a sermon to the youth from Jonah 1:4-16. The prep so far has been going well and I'm looking forward to sharing God's word once again.

While looking over old sermons, I realized that I have picked up several habits that I previously didn't have. I have developed a Christocentric hermeneutical preference-- i.e. I look for the places where grace, substitutionary atonement, and other Jesus-related themes occur in the passage regardless of whether or not it explicitly speaks of Christ. I have also begun to minimize my use of illustrations as a teaching tool. Perhaps on the other end of habits is my tendency to run out of time for preparation. Hopefully seminary will, somehow, have an indirect impact on my teaching so that I could more accurately and faithfully share Christ with the junior highers.

I'll be prepping from now until tomorrow night. If you get the chance, please pray for me!

Brief Article on Project Destiny's Development

2008-10-22T11:00:00.007-04:00

Project Destiny just rebooted for another cycle of planning. I've re-signed for another year of directing. Praise God for the opportunity.

The following is an article I wrote about Project Destiny, recently published in "BCEC connections" (apologies for unedited inaccuracies ... let me know and I'll change them). Full names have been replaced with initials.

Another summer has passed and with it, another season of Project Destiny has come to a close. 27 married, single, college, and high-school age counselors. 51 campers from all over the Boston area. Once again disbanded…but WAIT--It’s not over!

Project Destiny is the name of BCEC’s middle-school day-camp that has been running for 15 summers now. It exists to glorify God by serving the Chinatown community and sharing the Gospel to the campers who come, as well as to provide ministry training and experience to the counselors who volunteer.

The idea for PD was born in 1994, when the pastoral staff saw a need for middle-school summer programming in the community and asked for volunteers to put together a camp. Several lay-leaders, many who were professional teachers, responded to the call and formed Project Destiny. Over first few years, the format became a program of academic classes and educational field trips combined with morning “charting”—a time of learning God’s word through skits, talks, and testimonies. For counselors, the model became one of living together in Christian community while serving in a common purpose.

Over the next decade, H.G., director of PD for all but one of those years, sought out ways to integrate the outreach of PD with the regularity of church. One of the hardest things about being a counselor in those days, and still even now, was putting so much love and prayer onto our campers and helping them to know Christ, only to see so many of them never return to church. The converse was also true—one of the delights of being a counselor was seeing the occasional kid becoming a part of our church. Towards that end different efforts were made at continuing a fellowship or afterschool program during the school year.

In 2005, Pastor E.L., youth director at the time, took on the responsibilities of director. Over the next three years, he continued to seek out ways to integrate PD with the regular youth ministries, such as connecting Summer Teen Conference to the end of PD, recruiting youth ministry volunteers from Project Destiny staff, and increasing the amount of preaching during the camp so that students would be used to the format of the regular youth group.

Over this past year, we had one of the most exciting developments in BCEC’s community outreach history—the hiring of a full-time staff member dedicated to coordinating and running an after-school program. From October to June, V.C. shepherded and taught a pilot group of youth, most of whom had been campers in PD 2007. That small group grew to include new comers, who in turn came to Project Destiny during this past summer. In answer to prayers,God led BCEC to extend the position and the program for 2008, so students who began coming to church through Project Destiny, the day-camp, will have the opportunity to continue coming to church through Project Destiny After School (PDAS), the after-school program!

It is in this context that I am pleased to report that in 2008, 51 students came and heard the Gospel this summer. They were loved, served, and prayed for by 27 faithful counselors. Most of those 51 chose to attend Summer Teen Conference as well. Some of them have been coming to our middle school fellowships-- JYF and TWR. Some of them have begun attending PDAS. Through these ministries and others, I pray that the Holy Spirit may continue to work in their lives and grow them in their love for God. And may the church continue to glorify God through its work of proclaiming the Gospel in our community.

photos: a. Students looking over a claymation short film they created; b. End of year Family Night

New Start

2008-09-23T10:15:00.009-04:00

It has been almost 3 weeks since I returned from Japan (long story there!) and began classes at Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary. I have not yet given up on this blog, though it took some time to get back to it. A few highlights from the summer:

Project Destiny ended in August. It was exciting to see most of the students attending our Summer Teen Conference at Camp Cherith, Maine. A few of those kids are now plugged into our afterschool program (PDAS) and see Mr. Cheung, Mr. Fei, and Ms. Lui, and others on a regular basis. Several campers have also started to attend TWR, the middle school fellowship as well.
There were some tough parts about serving as the camp director this year, which I'll be happy to share with you about if you ask me. The amazing thing to me, though, is how God redeems hardship and trouble to accomplish good things. It was in moments when I felt let down and when I felt like I had let down others that God made me trust him more and proved that He really is all that I need.
I took bike ride after PD ended-- partly to get some exercise and partly to spend some time alone. I packed my bags with what I thought would be some useful stuff- like water, first aid, food, etc. It started out as a ride from my ancestral home in Quincy to Boston (10 miles). Then, once I got to Chinatown, though, I got the sense that I could and should keep going. So I rode to buy some more equipment from REI (a tent) and then hit the Minuteman Bike Trail out to Bedford (18 miles). By the time I arrived in Bedford, it was already late, so I searched for a place to stay before finally settling on the campgrounds at Hanscom Airforce Base. The next morning, I was told I couldn't stay because I wasn't military, so I got up and continued my ride through a muddy dirt trail to Concord (7 miles) where I visited all the cool Americal Literature sites. Best of all was a ride around Walden Pond and a subsequent swim to wash off all the grime. Finally, as the day wound down, I rode to the town of Lowell (24 miles) before turning back towards Boston via Woburn (20 miles). And yes, it was an awesome time of solitude.

And finally, Gordon Conwell has been better than I had hoped for. There's a lot of reading and learning to do, yet in the midst of it, God has given me a gift of discipline that I had previously not quite had. Maybe it's just the rush of a new start, where I'll inevitably revert; but this feels different... almost natural. It's strange that I never had this in college or even in the "real world." In any case, there is so much to be thankful for in this new place and time. I miss being in Chinatown, but there are things to be grateful for here, too.

Week 3

2008-07-21T10:57:00.005-04:00

I find myself settling into a groove. That's nice in that I've figured out how to take the work load and where I am needed or not needed at a given moment. The team feels smoother, more like a bike's pedaling hum after you oil the chains. The danger, though, is that I don't feel like I need to pray as much. There's still more than half of the camp left to go, though, and I've got at least 2 more talks as well as numerous devotionals left to go. While the staff team seems to be doing well, there are still many huddle appointments and opportunities to have good conversations as well as bring the Gospel to bear in many life situations.

Please pray that I'd remember the centrality of prayer in Project Destiny as I try to serve campers and counselors alike.

Charting Talks (Update)

2008-07-14T11:49:00.001-04:00

Thank you for praying! The last two talks on the Life of Moses went pretty well. In the first one, I felt really nervous, but in the second one, today, went better.

The first talk was about how people look at the question of who controls their life: some say themselves; some say luck; and some say there's a greater plan beyond themselves. We used the phrases "solo," "go with the flow," and "it's God, yo!" to help remember these points of view.

The second talk was about how going "solo" is problematic if God actually exists. I pulled in the idea of what Sin is-- doing something your way instead of God's way. The text of Exodus was a picture of Moses going "solo" by killing the Egyptian, doing it his way instead of God's.

Praise God for attentive campers. May the Lord use his word to work in their lives.

Need Prayer-- "Charting"

2008-07-08T20:39:00.005-04:00

Please pray for me as I set time to plan the "Charting" talk for this Thursday. "Charting" is the spiritual development component of Project Destiny-- a morning chapel time for our campers. It consists of well-produced dramas that illustrate Biblical narrative sections and short sermons that draw out the Gospel from these narratives.

I will be preaching from the life of Moses this year and it is the greatest source of uncertainty for me. I'm afraid that I won't be relevant, or that I'll make the Bible boring, or that I'll be unclear. I'm sort of comparing my work against previous years' work as well, though I know I shouldn't. Please pray that God would use these talks to reveal himself to our campers.

Please also pray that I will have time to plan the talk for this week. I've kept running into things here and there that prevent me from working on the sermon. They are important staff-team related things, but I need find a chunk of uninterrupted time to study and prepare.

Thanks!

PD Staff Overnighter

2008-06-29T18:22:00.004-04:00

pd staff doing their best impression of me

Our PD Staff Team returned yesterday from our overnighter. It was the first time that all 27 staff were present! Over the weekend, we worshiped together (we've got some strong voices on the team!), prayed together, prepared meals, ate meals, faced team-building challenges, and received devotions together. It takes time and the Holy Spirit's work to bring such a diverse and large team together as one. Please pray for our unity and love for one another.

I enjoyed teaching Bible devotions this past week. They not as bad as I imagined they could be! So praise God for that encouragement and his enabling me to serve in this way so far. One theme we've latched onto is the mandate we have to be servants to God, our team, and others without ego, judgmentalism, or desire for recognition; but rather with love, honor, truth, and grace.

The End/ Beginning

2008-06-24T21:08:00.002-04:00

This was the last day of my teaching career at JQUS. I'm still processing and am not sure how I feel about it. I'm glad I got to share the gospel and have conversations about faith with three friends and colleagues before I left.

A poignant moment: sitting down with a student I had taught four years ago, who had moved away and wanted to transfer back, and who was now telling me his desire to be a trial lawyer. It reminded me of what successful young men and women some of them will grow to be. But then I thought of the ones that had withered under my watch... some to jail, some to pregnancy, some to drugs and gangs... What will become of them? When you look at the people your students will become, some of the things you stressed them out about during class seem so pointless. And in the light of eternity, some things are even more meaningless

Then I was done. I shook many hands. As I rode my bike down the street for the last time, students waved goodbye and I waved back. And that was it.

Meanwhile, today was the start of PD training. The directors got up at 5AM to get ready. This was, though, a relatively laid back day with lighter training. Praise God for him starting to integrate the team into one, as relationships are forming and tightening.

One mistake: I forgot to a save a meal for one counselor who was out for a while. How sad to come back and not have a meal waiting for you! I made him a grilled turkey sandwich instead.

Please pray for me... I clearly can't direct this camp; but God doesn't call the equipped, he equips those he calls. So I have faith that he'll do the same to me so that I can serve him better.

Ministry Position

2008-06-23T01:23:00.003-04:00

One thing further-- I've been tentatively offered a part-time ministry position at a church in Boston! It is not my first ministry position offer ever, but it is exciting. I am prayerfully considering the implications of this and would appreciate you praying for me as well. I don't know how God is leading. A few concerns I have are: busy schedule, study time, proximity to friends, and money. These all play into my decision making in one way or another. I'd be happy to talk about it if you want to know more...

PD Starting!

2008-06-23T00:56:00.003-04:00

We are alive! We got back from camping safely and I, for one, am grateful for the relaxing time of hanging out with the middle-schoolers. I'm also grateful that the Lord chose to provide rain-free weather for the whole time we were there. The whole thing went smoothly and I'm reminded again of what dedicated and competent youth workers I have the honor of serving with.

Just shooting out a quick prayer request-- Project Destiny's Training Week is beginning tomorrow (6/23) -- actually, today. If you get to read this, would you please shoot a quick prayer for me and for the rest of the planning team? The assistant directors and I got to pray tonight-- a much needed time of confessing our inadequacy and asking the Lord to make us wiser than we are with his wisdom.

Please pray for good use of time as I try to wrap up school grades and try to run training at the same time.
Pray for God to be preparing our staff members well with skill, love, grace, and unity.
Pray for unity and the building of a relationship between the assistant directors and myself.
Pray for sensitivity and wisdom for the directors to care for other staff-members.
Pray for my devotionals this week as I lead the staff team in meeting God every morning.
Pray for my own time with God-- that it would not be neglected.

Thanks-- I'm reminded now, more than usual, how much I am in need of Christ.

Moving Out and Camping Tonight

2008-06-20T13:58:00.003-04:00

I moved out of my apartment in Chinatown last week... I was grateful that I was able to move everything I owned except furniture in one round. But I'm still there, for at least the next five days. How do I feel about moving out? It doesn't really register yet, since this week has been a whirlwind and will continue to be so up until PD starts. On one level, I know I can always come back here and crash on the couch, but the familiar space of my room is no longer in existence. All the pictures, books, and other possessions are gone. I guess I had already mentally prepared myself to not be here over the past few months. As I reflected on my last laundry load, which had been sitting in the dryer for a long time, I realized I had not sat down in my apartment for more than 2 hours at a time since last month, aside from sleeping. So, there are things I will miss-- like the kids in the courtyard who have been asking me if I'm really moving away and what seminary is for. But I don't think that leaving will hit me until Project Destiny ends this summer.

On another note, I'm going camping tonight with 20 middle schoolers and a handful of adults as an end-of-the-year event for TWR, our youth group. Weather might be bad, but pray for relationships to be strengthened and for the Gospel to hit home as I give a devotional in the morning.

Biblical Foundations for Support Raising

2008-06-02T19:09:00.004-04:00

WARNING: Not a terribly interesting post, but it might help some people who are in the middle of fund raising.

It is humbling to ask people for money. I avoid it if I can. However, recently, I've had to ask friends and family members to support me in two different ways: Project Destiny and the Partnership Program for Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. I sent out 63 support letters for Project Destiny and I have been contacting individuals about Gordon-Conwell. It has been amazing to see how folks have responded in generosity-- and even more amazing to realize how God is providing a way forward on a trail that he has blazed.

I've gotten a chance to think a bit about the biblical foundations for fundraising lately:

My understanding of Christian support-building is that the Church is one body whose purpose is to glorify Christ in this world and to proclaim the Gospel in word and deed, especially to those who do not know it. To live this out, members of the Church should see their own lives and possessions with an Acts 2 mentality: sharing everything in common, devoting to prayer, and supplying for one another’s needs. To those who have Christ in common, the Gospel is of immense worth, and its a joy to participate in its advance.

Because of this, I can boldly ask—knowing that, while I am asking people to help me, I am also offering an opportunity to partner for the sake of Christ and for the spread of the Gospel. The Apostle Paul himself offered this idea in his letter to the Philippians: “Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the fruit that increases to your credit.” In other words, the opportunity to give is also a ministry to the giver by offering them a chance to have this attitude in Christ. The result is a double-blessing for all involved: the joy of partnering in life-transforming Gospel work and the blessing of being connected to others in supporting or being supported.

While I may boldly ask, I may not expect anyone to give—I may not coerce, manipulate, or guilt anyone to contribute or pray for me. The Apostle Paul wrote, in the second letter to the Corinthians, “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” I believe that the end will not justify the means—that each “means” is also an “end” in itself. One goal of partnership ministry, besides the “end goal” of supporting a ministry, is to provide opportunities for and to cultivate the “cheerful giver.” Any practice that short-changes this aspect of support-raising is unbiblical and may, in fact, be the manifestation of unbelief in the work of the Holy Spirit in the lives of potential partners.

In any case... I hope this helps you if you find yourself in a situation similar to mine where you have to fund raise for the Gospel.

PD 08 Support Letter

2008-05-24T15:43:00.008-04:00

Below, is a copy of a letter I'll be sending to some friends this week. Please let me know if you'd be interested in partnering financially or if you'd like to be a prayer supporter. Thanks so much to you guys who have supported me so often in the past!

Hi Friends!

I’ve got some summer plans that I’d like to share with you. As you may know, I’ve spent most of my summers for the past several years as a counselor for middle school youth in Project Destiny—a summer camp in Boston’s Chinatown. I have joined the team once again—this year under the title of Executive Director. It’s a joy, every summer, to see dozens of 11-14 year olds (hyper, emo, cool, goofy, shy, etc.) learn new skills, experience new adventures, and have their lives impacted by their encounter with the gospel in word and action. I’m as excited this year as I have ever been to be a part of God’s work in the lives of campers and counselors alike through PD.

My role this summer, as the camp director, will be to train, supervise, and shepherd a 24-person staff team as we plan and execute 5 weeks of camp programming and 2.5 weeks of pre-camp prep and post-camp debriefing. I’ll also design, oversee, and run camper and staff spiritual development components by writing and sharing devotionals on a daily basis while preaching to campers twice a week. (Please pray for that last part!!!)

It will be a very different role than I am used to. It sounds like a lot! Honestly, I think it will be a big stretch for me and I don’t think, by any means, that I have the ability to do all the parts of my role. Thankfully, I’ll have two trusty assistant directors, the support of past directors (like the force apparitions in Star Wars!), and I trust that God will accomplish his purposes whether I do well or I struggle. It’s not human hands, after all, that builds an eternal kingdom; it is the foundation of Christ and the work of the Holy Spirit.

Please pray for me. Starting June 22, I will move out of my apartment of three years (in preparation for beginning seminary in the fall!) and moving into a dorm in Emerson where I’ll live with most of our staff team. I’ll be running training until the first day of camp on July 7. Then I’ll be running the day-to-day operations until August 9, when camp ends. Then we will debrief until August 13. Please pray that I’ll have the energy, love, compassion, wisdom, and humility to direct all of this. Perhaps, if you pray for one thing for me, pray that I would make time to pray every day (God has been teaching me big lessons about the centrality of prayer in missions and ministry).

Also, please pray that the Holy Spirit would do a mighty work in the hearts of our youths and counselors this summer—that kids would connect with our regular youth group and believe in Jesus while counselors get their hearts ignited to spend their lives on truly significant and eternal things.

I’m trying to raise some financial support as well to off-set my own costs (food, living, field trips,) and some camper costs too. If you would like to partner either in prayer, a monetary donation, or in some service-related way (cook dinner for our staff?) please let me know via e-mail or comment. Thanks so much!

Why B*** is a Bad Word

2008-05-22T15:05:00.004-04:00

I met up with a friend recently for dinner and talk. As often happens, we got to the part of the conversation where we talk about how much we've been doing lately. You know how this goes: you start to feel guilty about not having been a better friend and then subtly-- although nobody really misses this-- you begin listing off the things you have been involved in:

"Work has been crazy lately. And I've been meeting up with the youth group kids a lot more. And every other Tuesday, I've got a meeting with X. I'm leading Y group every Wednesday for church. And Project Z has been ramping up, so it's taking up the rest of my spare time. I haven't even seen my roommates lately, and I've slept only 5 hours a night, and I've been B***!"

And before you know it, you're doing two things: 1) complaining about things that you're supposedly really passionate about doing, and 2) justifying yourself by your work load because either A) your work is more important than him or B) you are a slave to your work and don't have a choice, so you can't be blamed.

It didn't get to that point for me this last time. Just as I was about to say the word "busy, " I realized, at least this time, that "busy" was a bad word. It was nothing but an excuse to not take responsibility for my use of time and a way of protecting myself against feeling the weight of being a bad friend.

Have you been busy? Perhaps. Too busy to care for people and relationships? If that's true, then you've been making a huge waste of your time.

Five Weeks

2008-05-13T09:29:00.002-04:00

I counted today-- because there was a school calendar mysteriously sitting on my desk, and because I am proctoring an MCAS today (which, for everyone's information, I have just hypocritically and horribly botched, after years of being the spokeman for correct MCAS procedures).

There are 5 weeks left.
5 weeks until there will be no more grading.
5 weeks left until there will be no more lessons to prep.
5 weeks left until I no longer climb up 8 flights of stairs, 3 times a day.
5 weeks left until my students can go home and unleash their pent up urges to explode.

It's also 5 more weeks until I pack up the accumulated relics of my four-year teaching practice.
5 more weeks until my association with JQUS ends.
5 weeks until I will no longer see the students who have been the focus of so many waking (and sleeping) thoughts over the past few years.
5 more weeks until my teaching career ends, like a train coasting to a stop at the end of a trans-continental track.

5 more weeks.

Canobie Lake Park!

2008-05-11T15:51:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, our middle school youth group counselors and I took 6 students to Canobie Lake Park. We had a great time going on rides, like the X-treme, DaVinci's Dream, the Corkscrew, and the Yankee Cannonball. I've often wished I had more time to just hang out with the youth group kids. With applying to seminary, writing Friday night messages, planning Project Destiny, and grading papers, that kind of fun time with youth group kids is too rare. Two of our kids were from PDAS, our weekday after-school program. Four of our kids were not regular youth group attendees. Praise God for a fun day and a chance to build relationships with a handful of youths!

Serving Communion

2008-05-04T12:33:00.004-04:00

I felt chills today while serving communion. BCEC serves communion on the first Sunday of each month. On those weeks, I usually take my communion first, after the sermon, and head to the back of the room with the bread to serve the rest of the congregation. When people come up, I'm supposed to address them, saying, "Victor, this is the Body of Christ broken for you." And then they move on to the cup, where Calvin is supposed to say, "Victor, this is the Blood of Christ shed for you."

Usually, it's a sort of mundane service to perform. I make it more exciting for myself by seeing how many names I can recall. As a matter of fact, I used to try to avoid it when the old pastor asked me to serve because I had a hard time remembering people's names on the spot.

But today, after about the 15th recipient, I started getting a sense of the enormity of what we were saying: "This is the Body of Christ broken for you! This is the Blood of Christ shed for you!" Look what you have done: you are a sinner so wretched that the Son of God had to die for you! Look how much you're worth: God sent his son to die for you!

And the one-two combination of Calvin and I greeting the recipients became a rolling chant, proclaiming the gospel over and over again while strains of "Amazing Grace" sang in the background. So, I remembered once again what an amazing thing it is to have your life saved by somebody who died doing it. What a privilege-- I was allowed to preach the gospel to about forty people today, one person at a time! Praise God for his reminders of what Grace is.

Vacation, Executive Directorship, Scholarship

2008-04-25T10:45:00.008-04:00

April Vacation is just about over-- and it was a pretty good one. I visited good friends in Vermont, hung out with my girlfriend, saw a Sox game, fished, skied in 70 degree weather, and had a $200 dinner date at a fancy French restaurant called Aujourd'hui (I didn't pay-- she had a gift-certificate from work!) During these last days of rest, I'm mentally preparing for the storm that will be May, June, July, and August. My series at VAC got postponed, but I still have 2 sermons to prep over this next week.

By now, most of you who read this know that Project Destiny (a summer urban youth camp ministry) is a big part of what I pray for, think about, and do. Over the past few years, I've been helping to run it as a part of a director board. During our last meeting, we finalized a decision to name me Executive Director over Project Destiny. I've been involved in the camp for more than 10 years and I my heart still flutters when I think of what good God will do in and through the staff team that he assembles. It will be a challenging summer. My pastor recently asked me how I felt about this. My answer: "I trust God." In the end, that's all I can say-- I have no real reason to believe that I am the perfect candidate or that I won't fail miserably. If I say, "I can do it," it is a lie because that's honestly not how I feel. But I can trust God to lead me to glorify him in success or in failure... "as it is my earnest expectation and hope that I will not at all be ashamed, but that now, as always, Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or death." As before, I will try to post updates here throughout the summer and I appreciate your prayers.

On the seminary front, I am indeed going to Gordon-Conwell next year. On top of that, I am receiving a significant scholarship that will cover a third of my projected costs for next year. I am exceedingly grateful to see how God is encouraging me by removing obstacles and opening doors. This scholarship, called the Partnership Program requires me to build a support team and to fund raise. I will, at some point, post more about the program; but if you would like to be a support partner for me to attend seminary, please contact me by comment or the usual channels. Thanks!

Grading, Preaching, Vermont

2008-04-15T01:38:00.007-04:00

It is nearly 2AM... and I am still grading. Term 3 grades are due tomorrow and I still have over half of the major projects left to grade along with other assignments. After you enter all the grades in your computer program, you then double-check everything, factor in extra-credit, and then fill in a whole bunch of scan-tron sheets in #2 pencil. That step is far off for me, right now.... I suppose this is one thing that I won't miss about teaching.

I have decided to preach at Vietnamese Alliance Church again for a short 4-week series, beginning April 27. I don't know what the series will be on yet, but it is an honor that they keep inviting me to speak. I really value the opportunity to preach Christ in a congregation that is never far from my heart. Please pray for me!

This weekend, I'll be visiting Vermont to reconnect with some friends from my college days there. I'll also be bringing a friend to meet folks. It will be a welcome change of pace before the truly busy season of Project Destiny planning and execution begins in May.

Image: the gold plated bathroom that I used during a recent pre-marriage conference... it was in the home of the creator of Ms. Pacman, Missile Command, and the TV Guide program!

Good Friday

2008-03-22T08:51:00.004-04:00

These are all the words that Jesus spoke while nailed to the cross, in probable chronological order:

"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."
(as he was being nailed)
"Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise."
(to the repentant thief at his side)
"Woman, behold, your son!"..."Behold, your mother!"
(to Mary, his mother, and John)

"Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?"
(my God, my God, why have you forsaken me?)

"I thirst."
"It is finished...Father, into your hands I commit my spirit."
(and he breathed his last)

I've long been haunted by the ante-penultimate utterance of Jesus, "My God, why have you forsaken me?" When I was very young, the story was a story like others; except it had a tragic ending. I couldn't understand why they called it Good Friday. As far as I was concerned, we all should be very sad on that day, a day when an innocent man was killed wrongly. Throughout middle-school, I began to look at the crucifixion as an exercise in endurance and faith that we could emulate. But Jesus' calling out of that Hebrew phrase clashed with my understanding of his death. His exclamation left me with two possible conclusions: either Jesus ran out of faith at the end, or God really did abandon him.

Later, when I became a Christian, the enormity of that one phrase dawned on me. Yes-- I was right all along. Both my conclusions were correct. Jesus did run out of faith at the end. And God did really abandon him. See, you cannot have faith when there is nothing there to have faith in! When God removed his presence from Jesus-- when he removed all grace and allowed nothing but his wrath and hatred to focus on his son, when he turned his face from Christ-- there was no way he could just believe that God was still there with him.

Whether we believe in him or not, God gives us common grace so that life is possible and bearable. He looks on us, and so we live. If for even a second, God removed his presence and grace from us, there would be no goodness at all in this life that we cling to. For Jesus, whose relationship with the Father was characterized, since eternity past, by perfect love, the removal of God's presence and sudden onslaught of divine hatred would have been unimaginably horrible.

Jesus said those words... and from them, we understand that his substitutionary sacrifice for sinners like you and me was accepted by the Father. And so, if someone were to ask me about that phrase, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" I would say, "There's an answer to Jesus' question, you know-- it's not purely rhetorical. God turned his face away from Jesus so that he could turn his face towards you."

...by the way-- I received my acceptance into Gordon-Conwell on Thursday. =)

Winter Teen Conference and March

2008-03-04T23:13:00.006-05:00

March promises an imminent end to winter. It has been a relatively milder one in Boston, with some days like today, when it has felt more like spring than winter. This past month has been eventful on different fronts

1) I am still awaiting word from Gordon-Conwell, though I have finished filing for scholarships. I will begin writing letters requesting prayer and assistance once I find out if I've been accepted. Also, there is the real possibility of taking on a structured apprenticeship a church I'm connected with, which would help both in terms of experience and finances-- I'm pretty excited about that possibility.

2) During Presidents' Day Weekend, I led a small group for 8 ninth grade boys during Winter Teen Conference, our church's youth retreat. I got to live in a cabin, hold discussions, have one-on-one talks, and hang out with them all weekend long. The speaker sessions, by Pastor Joseph Tsang from Vision Church in NYC, focused on lessons from Jonah-- God using broken people to bring about repentance and reconciliation for his glory, the misguided human obsession with "justice," the lengths God goes through to chase people down, and the need to descend when the world tells us to go up on the ladders of status and comfort. Most memorable for me were the one-on-one talks I had with my boys this weekend. It is humbling to try to see ninth graders through God's eyes as opposed to your own-- it reminded me how far apart my heart is from that of Jesus.

3) I had conversations with folks from Vietnamese Alliance Church this past weekend. It is hard for me to convey to people how much I miss serving there and being caught up in the lives of friends in that small church. If the same thing remains on your heart for a long time, does it mean God is nudging you there? There are still imprints on me left over after 2 years, like the places on rugs where old furniture used to be. I'm praying about whether or not-- or when-- to renew some sort of involvement-- whether it be preaching on Sundays, leading a small group, mentoring individuals, or just visiting more often. I wonder if Apostle Paul's experiences were personally conflicting and torn like this-- wanting to be in more than one place at once. Pray for VAC, as they continue to search for an English pastoral staff-person.

4) Vacation was very restful, although I was sick for most of it. At least half of our entire Winter Teen Conference staff came down with flu-like symptoms after the retreat. We canceled youth groups the following Friday, but if we had gone ahead, more than half of the youth workers would have been sick! Thank God for the snow=).

5) At school, this has been a much more difficult year than years past. One big reason is not having as many opportunities to build relationships with my students. We haven't had many field trips, and I only see them during the mornings (I teach in another site in the afternoons). At recent meetings, we decided to have more field trips in the months of March and April. I'm looking forward to those. Now if only we could skip the MCAS at the end of this month...

6) The Chinatown Library Advisory Council concluded its work in February. We've been working for around a year to design a Boston Public Library branch in Chinatown. During those meetings, I've gotten to learn more about how different agencies and groups compete for land in a dense city neighborhood and the issues involved in community action efforts. I've consistently attempted to represent the needs of schools, community youths, and reluctant students in Chinatown in our discussions. We've narrowed the possibilities down to three more likely sites: 1) Parcel P12 next to the DoubleTree, 2) BCEC's current site, 3) and a site adjacent to the Chinatown Gateway. There will be a public presentation on our work, along with models of what each site's library might look like and what the next steps forward are on March 18, 6-8PM, at the Quincy School cafeteria. Come, you are invited!

Pod-Casts and links

2008-02-12T23:49:00.006-05:00

I've been listening to pod-casts for a few weeks now. Mostly, I'm listening to sermons on topics I'm interested in or teaching. Now I'm on one! How humiliating. So, here are three links:

1) Pastor Enoch Liao on "Good Suffering"-- I'm listening to this now. This is the pastor of my congregation in Chinatown with a reminder of how you apply the gospel in your life to times when you suffer so that you can do anything as you follow Jesus, even if it's hard. I have the blessing of hearing good preaching almost every week.

2) Me on Project Destiny-- a presentation on the community directed ministry I'll be helping to lead this summer. This is more of an advertisement for prospective counselors, but it sort of gives an idea of the burdens behind the program that consumes my life and the lives of my co-laborers almost every summer.

3) www.project-destiny.com -- the web site for PD that includes information and recruiting materials. If you are interested in serving as a counselor for Boston's Chinatown youth and sharing Christ with them, look here.

Change is in the Air... again

2008-02-12T22:31:00.007-05:00

I was just looking at pictures of my friend's new baby girl. It's surreal seeing him holding her-- head small enough to fit one of his hands. My friend is a video gamer-- he spends a lot of time playing World of Warcraft; but his life is about to be changed in a huge way. When things change, people get stressed about it. This reminds us, however, that while change can be stressful, that doesn't mean it's bad. As a matter of fact, they've been looking forward to this stressful change for a while now.

I wonder what life will be like in five years. Already, things are a lot different than what I pictured two years ago. Seminary? It thought I would be a teacher for life! Moving out of Chinatown? I wanted to live in this neighborhood for good and never move out. Now, I've tentatively set a move-out week for June. Yep... it's funny the unexpected turns life can take when you decide not to take control. Sure, it's possible to plan out what you want to do with your life and go hard after it, ignoring things like God tugging at your heart ; but like an unexpected baby that comes your way, the things you never asked for, but which God does want for you, are far better than anything you can come up with on your own. So-- how long will I live away from Boston? What kind of job will I take? How will I be as a student? And what would it be like to have my life changed like my video-gaming friend? I'm not really sure... I just wonder.

Tonight, we had our final meeting of the Chinatown Public Library Study before the public presentation. We've narrowed the focus down to 4 sites (Parcel P12, Parcel A, Chinatown Gateway, Tufts Parking Lot on Hudson). After the meeting, I got to talk to a woman named Marie, from the residents' association. She was telling me about the importance of younger community members being active so that associations and councils could continue to be relevant to the changing needs of the neighborhood. I'll attend one of their meetings tomorrow to see what they're talking about and to meet people

Other stuff:
1) I'm still awaiting word from Gordon-Conwell. All my applications, financial aid forms, and taxes have been filed... just...waiting...
2) I'll be leading a small group of 8 ninth graders this weekend at our youth group's winter retreat! Please pray for me to have energy, enough sleep, love, and wisdom to know how to minister to them. Also, pray that the gospel would work its way into their lives as a result of this coming weekend.

The Saddest Day of The Year

2008-01-20T19:49:00.000-05:00

According to a researcher from Cardiff University, January 21 is going to be the saddest day of the year, based on a formula that includes daylight, time lapsed since holidays, and other factors. I suppose winter is a bit less cheery than summer. Here in Boston, tonight, the temperature is in the teens. The sun went down somewhere around 5 o'clock. For me, the luster of a brand new year of teaching is wearing off. The brilliant ideas are running down to a trickle while student failure rates are dogging me. In the city, what looked like a promising new year for safety has now degenerated with a new spat of youth-related homicides and we're a few deaths ahead of where we were this time last year. I have friends who have been dealing with a tough layoff, a break-up, an impossible job situation, having to deal with going back to school, or plain old loneliness for a while now; and, now that the holidays are over, it's back to the reality of how everything was before. So bleak, cold, January days do nothing for our moods.

In darker, more melancholy days, I am reminded of a truth from the Sweet Psalmist of Israel, David. He says, "in the night also, my heart instructs me... I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore, my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices..." (Psalm 16).

Only God sees us at our lowest, when perhaps we sit in our own rooms with only a desk lamp on or lying on our beds in the dark, sighing, head down, maybe worried. In a night like that, the Psalmist David lets his heart instruct him. Literally, he preaches to himself. And what does he preach? He instructs himself by "setting the Lord before me," or reminding himself that God is right there. Though the night is dark and his world is shaking around him, the founder and creator of the world is by his side; and that makes him glad.

I have a friend who reminds me there are no bad days in Christ. This is true; for a Christian, knowing that your identity is Christ and that none of your successes or failures have any bearing on your worth in God's eyes-- knowing your salvation is sure-- should mean that every day is a good day in Christ.

But circumstances tend to affect us. We feel like there are good days and bad days; and to be honest, a lot of us feel like there are more bad days than good. But in times like that, days like January 21 when we've broken all our New Year's resolutions and we're going back to lonely old Wisconsin for the second semester of school to beat us up again, we can do what David does: we can preach to ourselves. We can tell ourselves, "the Lord is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken." We can say to our disappointments, "The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup (v. 5)." We can remember of Jesus Christ, "You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you (v. 2)."

And when we preach to ourselves, we let the truth, security, and happiness of our salvation take over. Simple phrases-- I once was lost and now am found, Jesus loves me-- remind us that everything in our lives could fail, but people who love Jesus can throw themselves on the foundational truth that he has already taken care of their biggest problems: sin, death, and separation from God. That is the Gospel. The Savior is no less by our side in these smaller and more temporary pains.

You don't automatically feel this way, but you have to fight for it. You have to preach it. Otherwise, the world-- the low-light days, the circumstances, the news-- will preach themselves to you. See, that's how David was able to say, "my heart is glad; my whole being rejoices!" In the same way, that's how the apostle Paul is able to command believers: "Rejoice in the Lord always. I say it again, REJOICE! (Phil 4:4)" That's how my friend is able to say, "There are no bad days in Christ." The Saddest Day of the Year will be upon us tomorrow. You may have many real reasons to hang your head in disappointment or sadness. Things happen to us... and it's tough. We can't take control of all our circumstances, but, what we can do is preach Christ-- the Gospel-- to ourselves and let that make us glad.

Applying to Seminary: How Do I Know I'm Called?

2008-01-16T18:49:00.000-05:00

This is me entering credit card data in payment for my application to Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. It has been quite a road over the last few months as I pondered and prayed about whether or not to leave my first career passion, public school education, and pursue a theology degree for full-time ministry. The answer, as you can see, is yes. I have resigned my job, effective Sept '08; I am applying for seminary and, if it's God's plan, I'll attend Gordon-Conwell in the fall.

I am excited! At first, I was more nervous than excited--when it wasn't quite clear yet that this was the decision God was pointing me towards. I thought about how to explain it to my boss. I wondered what my parents would say. I was concerned about the money. I thought about how it might affect my girlfriend. Where would I live? What would the next four years look like? Am I the type of person who could do the work of shepherding? And honestly, I lamented the possibility that I would never reach my full potential as a public school teacher. But, most of all, I was unsure if this was a "calling."

I began having conversations with people. In November, I spoke to my boss to ask his opinion. He encouraged me and prayed for me. I began talking to my mother. She didn't agree with the direction, but encouraged me anyway. Almost everyone I spoke to encouraged me. I continued to pray.

Finally, after Christmas, it became clear: It's not grammar, reading, writing, even critical thinking or self expression that I'm most passionate about. Those things are really important and we need teachers who are passionate about those things. If anything, it was always the lives of the students I taught that were more important to me. Instead, I have always been more invested in the church ministries I served in, seeing those as powerful avenues through which God could draw youths into the church and into relationship with him. I could also see how God has been preparing me by involving me in Project Destiny, Vietnamese Alliance Church, and BCEC's youth ministry over the past few years.

I still don't know if this constitutes a call, but knowing my desire to go to seminary came from a heart to bring glory to God helped me feel at peace with finally filling out the application two weeks ago. When I finally resigned my position last week, I not only felt peace, but real excitement. And when I told my mom this past weekend over lunch, she was pretty enthusiastic too. Even writing about it right now, I've got this growing sense of "I can't wait to get started!" and an urge to praise God all the more! I'll be at least 30 by the time I'm done with the Masters of Divinity, but whatever years I have left after that, it will be enough for whatever purpose that God has in mind.

If you could, would you please pray that:

God would continue to confirm his leading of me in this way?
I would have words to say as I try to explain all this to my dad who is not a believer?
Also, please pray that as I make big life decisions over the few months, I'll be granted wisdom and faith.

Thanks!

CAMPING!

2007-08-21T11:05:00.000-04:00

The first thing I did in my return to life in Boston last week was to go camping with twenty-something sixth, seventh, and eight graders from JQUS. Along with Mr. Chang and his wife, Mrs. Chang, we stayed for a week at T.L. Storer, a boyscout camp. Imagine all those kids from Chinatown, Roxbury, Dorchester, and other inner-city neighborhoods living a week in the woods alongside with disciplined suburbanite boyscouts, having to salute the flag, live in tents, and endure coyotes at night!

What was it like?Bugs in tents... hiking 5 miles... strange food... homesickness... The days were a lot of fun, filled with waterfront activities, climbing walls, rifling, archery, and getting to know each other better. But the nights were a little scary for most of our kids... I spent every night going tent to tent, picking out the spiders and checking for slugs, assuring students that there was no bear, etc. Yes, there were coyotes howling every night, too. We had a few sicknesses-- mostly from not going to the bathroom or not eating correctly. In the end, however, I think everyone will look back at this trip fondly.

Highlights for me: counting to 500 on the even numbers with a kid at 11PM to put him to sleep, jumping off a bridge into a river with one of my incoming 7th graders, flipping over in a canoe (yet again), having great conversations with former students, beating Jovanna and Demetris in basketball, and watching our group come in 3rd place in the Magee Cup Relay

Summer Teen Conference!

2007-08-15T14:01:00.000-04:00

BCEC's annual Summer Teen Conference-- a retreat for the high school and middle school youths-- is starting up this Friday. As with every year, a lot of preparation goes into it, from logistics of transportation, to caring for the spiritual well being of students and especially student leaders, to writing sermons for the retreat... and more. There will be approximately 100 students attending this summer from urban, suburban, churched, and non-churched backgrounds. Some of them will be attending for the first time-- for example, there is a big segment of middle school students from Project Destiny who are being integrated into the regular youth ministries. The theme is LifeSaver-- How we are saved, why we are saved, from what we are saved, for what are we saved, and how does it feel to be saved.

If you are willing to spare a moment, please pray:

That the God's Word would be preached and that the Holy Spirit would prepare receptive hearts in the youths
That Christ would be glorified and magnified in the eyes of our youths
For the counselors who will be leading small groups in discussion and counseling each student one-on-one
For Pastor Enoch and me who will be delivering the preaching for the weekend
For the various logistics, like transportation, programming, etc.

Personally, it means that from here until Monday, there will be a lot of work to do, such as organizing worship team details, prepping sermons, counseling students, writing discussion questions... it might require an all-nighter. I will update more once STC is over. Meanwhile, your prayers are greatly coveted.

Is This the End? Hiking and Sailing!

2007-07-26T22:21:00.000-04:00

Well, it seems Boston has caught up to me at last, or will soon. Farewell, mornings of leaky waders, cold spray, and fish on a line. Goodbye, days of lazy leisure, eating ice cream at the creemie stand, and book-devouring. Adieu, crimson sunsets, nights of milky-way clarity, and smell of left-over green hanging in the air. I'll be going home in a few days to pick up where I left off with school, youth ministry, and living in the city. As restful as Vermont has been, I have been looking forward to going back to the place that has once again become home. The first time, in 2004, I left kicking and screaming. This time, I can't wait to see what God will do back in the city.

The past few days have seen me struggling through false starts on several writing tasks I've had to work on. Lesson planning, while going, is taking longer to get into than I had hoped. There are youth-ministry tasks, like planning sermons for our summer youth retreat and youth-director search committee stuff, which are waiting for my full and undivided attention. That is not to say the time has been wasted-- it's just that I know what I'll need to spend more time on once I get back to Boston.

Besides writing, I got to take a sailing trip with Pastor Bob this week. The sky was a little overcast, but the wind was good. We sailed all day out to a bay in New York, sailing on a beam reach the whole way down. Once there, we took the dinghy out and did some bass fishing-- getting some strikes, but hooking none. After eating some dinner and reading, we went to sleep in the cabin. Not long after I had closed my eyes, I heard splashing in the bay. I tried to ignore it, but as the night wore on, the splashing became incessant-- up to 100 splashes per minute. Sometimes they sounded like swooshes on the water. At other times, it was like somebody was slapping the surface. I knew they were fish, but I started to wonder if Champ, the Loch-Ness Monster of Lake Champlain was behind the ruckus. Unable to sleep, I got up and left the cabin. That's when I saw it: all around me were huge ripples of bass or lake trout rising out of the lake, jumping and feeding on minnows in the night. It was amazing! Perhaps even more amazing was the fact that I threw several lures into the lake and caught not one single fish! Exasperated, I tried to go back to sleep, but sleep refused to come for very long. At 4AM, I got up, untied the dinghy, and rowed out to catch me some fish. Sadly, I caught but one 11 inch small mouth bass, and none of the monsters that were harassing me all night long. Still, we had pancake and fish fillets for breakfast that morning before going home. Shortly after breakfast, we hoisted anchor, raised sails, and set course for our bay in Vermont. It was a beautiful, sunny day, with just enough wind for us to make good time back home. In between taking the helm, I took a nap on the bow. And, no, we did not run into pirates.

Also, this past weekend, I got to hike Mt. Mansfield (Vermont's tallest mountain@ 5,000ft) with my friends Mike and Kristen. I must be getting better at this, because the last time I hiked this mountain it took two full days. This time, we did it in one afternoon with no food and a little bit of water!

Return to VAC!

2007-07-20T09:24:00.000-04:00

I had the opportunity to give a sermon this past weekend at Vietnamese Alliance Church in Dorchester. I hadn't really had a chance to be back to teach ever since I helped to bring Kyle, their English pastoral minister, on board. I remember nights of praying and hours of working, wondering if God would ever send the right person our way. The hardest part of being on the search committee was knowing that our time was limited. As almost a year passed and May came around, our core team was growing, but Duy-- one of the main planters of the English Service-- was leaving. That left me as the only other "older" Christian guy on the team and I knew I would be leaving in July. We spent a lot of time praying, meeting candidates, being disappointed, and then finally having our prayers answered. There were moments when we were afraid it wouldn't happen because of logistics; but in the end, God showed us that it was, indeed, his plan for Kyle to lead the congregation through the second chapter of E.S.

In any case, it was amazing being back. Kyle had asked for me to preach on the importance of serving in the Body of Christ. I took John 13 for my text-- "Jesus Washes the Disciples' Feet." A couple of points from that sermon: Serving as a "footwasher" is one way we proclaim the gospel because footwashing was a micro-illustration of Jesus' redeeming work (glory-->humilty--> serving--> redemption--> glory); lack of serving often indicates a lack of understanding the magnitude of Christ's servanthood for us; to serve others in the spirit of Christ, we must first allow ourselves to be served by Jesus' washing of our feet and other embarassing parts.

What struck me, as I looked out on the congregation that I used to help lead and teach, was how many more people were there. It used to be that we were a congregation of about 18 people, most of whom served in some way, and most of whom were teens or college aged kids. Their numbers on that Sunday were 40 people, including adults and youth-- and that wasn't including many people who were on vacation! Praise God! I could see how God was drawing newcomers from churched and unchurched backgrounds. I even met a guy who was not a Christian previously, but was convicted of his need to go to church through VAC's website! It's exciting to see a church grow-- and I know those who are in it would not necessarily say they are doing great, but from a distance, I see changes and evidence of the Holy Spirit working.

Perhaps the most fun part of going back was getting to play drums with the worship team that I helped to develop over the course of 2 years. This time though, it was one of the youth that was leading and I was just following along. Things weren't perfect, but it closely resembled how I had hoped the worship team would look after I left.

A year later, and I still miss being there week to week.

Cold River Trout

2007-07-20T09:01:00.001-04:00

Last week, I got to take an all day fishing trip out on the Cold River. Fishing with a guy named Stever, I caught 18 fish-- some small as my middle finger and some so large I had a hard time holding them with both hands. The largest was an 18'' Brown Trout (below), but the most exciting was the 16'' Brook Trout (above) because of its coloration and the fact that Brookies generally don't get much bigger than your hand. There was one more pretty big fish that I caught (not pictured). There was a pocket of still water across some fast current, so I casted out there, knowing I'd only have a brief window of opportunity for a strike because of how fast the current was going. I don't think I'm boasting to say that most fishermen can't make that cast because you have to cast in such a way that your fly doesn't move despite the raging current behind it. Well, I made the cast and within a second, a got this HUGE strike. I set the hook, played the fish, and brought him in. I must say, the fish out there on the Cold River are amazingly strong fighters. The large fished averaged about 40 seconds for me to pull in.

Besides fishing, my Vermont days have been filled up, recently, with sailing, painting the church, praying for direction, star-gazing, and even a little planning and preparation for Septemeber. Do long vacations make you more rested or just lazier? I am not sure, since this is my first one since becoming a teacher.

First Hiking Trip of the Year

2007-07-09T11:32:00.000-04:00

Last Wednesday night, during a town-wide power outage, I ended up at a random birthday party at the college. It was during that candle-light party that I met Mike and Joel, who were going on a hike the next day. Being on vacation, and having nothing scheduled to do, I took them up on an offer to go along. I didn't know anything about them, but I was more than happy to have two hiking partners.

The next day, we arranged for my car to be dropped off at the end of the trail-- the same trail that Didier and I hiked last August as an overnighter, except we would do it in one afternoon. That would be an 11 mile hike up and down two mountains that were each approximately 4000 feet high: Mount Ellen and Mount Abraham. While driving, I prayed for an opportunity to share the Gospel with both these guys.

The trail was beautiful, more so than I remembered. At one point, there was this narrow cave that we descended into. In that cave, on the floor, was a sheet of ice that had never melted all the way since the end of winter! There are things you can see, when you have the courage to crawl into a tiny crack of a vent on the side of a rock, which nobody else on earth gets to see. We also got to see a red eft, which is the colorful juvenile stage of the common spotted newt. I picked him up and held him for a while before putting him back down off the trail. Besides those sights, there were the usual compensations of summit views from several peaks.

The highlight of the hike, however, was the conversation we held throughout the 11 miles and 4,000 feet of altitude. We began talking about occupations and I mentioned being a minister might be interesting. “Oh, what kind of minister?” he asked. As best as I could, I labeled my theological and ecclesiastical bent-- Reformed, Calvinist, Evangelical, … “Oh, you’re a TULIP child?!” And that was the opportunity to talk about faith.

For three or four hours, I listened to Joel and Mike talk about their views of morality, of God, of existence. And I even allowed myself to learn from them, about ideas of how people make decisions (you should perfectly balance the three boulders of self, integrity, and the objective good of all), how humanity is moving towards collectivism, and how people are asleep most of their lives (as Emerson pointed out). It was a truly engaging and challenging discussion with some debate, but much honest evaluation from both sides.

And then Joel asked, “so what is your world-view, Horatio?” And there, with slow conviction, and with my Tilley Hat drawn to my heart, I spoke of a God of relationships, who wants people everywhere to find their greatest satisfaction and meaning in Him. I spoke of holiness and sin, of the Cross of Jesus Christ, of fear giving way to love... and the Holy Spirit spoke through me.

Joel had a hard time with the idea that people should obey some kind of authoritarian God... or that God was even relational at all. At that point, the verse from 1 John 4 came to me. "Perfect love drives out all fear." I used a common illustration: what if your wife asks you to wash the car? Do you do it because you’re afraid you won’t get dinner? Or do you do it because you love her? Nod. That conversation lasted for almost the entire duration of our hike.

"Wow, it’s been a long time since someone has given something to think about in terms of Christianity," he later confessed during dinner. "I wish I had your heart. I cultivate my soul with my head, but what you're talking about is in the heart... I'm not ready to change my mind about God yet, but I am willing to be convinced." Praise God for the opportunity and for the Spirit taking over that conversation... I'll continue to pray.

Roles of Clergy and Laity

2007-07-08T17:02:00.000-04:00

This is probably too theoretical for most people's interest, but I have been thinking and journaling about the role of the lay leaders in the church for the past few days. Part of it comes out of wondering if I might ever be called to full-time ministry; but even if that is not the case, serving as a lay person eventually will require a correct understanding of the distinctions between ordained and lay functions. In attempt to sketch out a correct and useful understanding, I will reference 1) the recent history of the Catholic church-- where distinctions between lay and clergy have been spelled out and taught, 2) the relatively recent trend, especially in Protestant churches, to employ non-ordained ministers, and 3) also Biblical teachings on the subject of roles in the church.

In the Vatican II Council of 1962, the Catholic Church spelled out two of the ways that lay ministers can serve: the Apostolate of Evangelization and Sanctification, and Charitable Works and Social aid. In effect, these are the areas of teaching, evangelizing, witnessing, volunteering, community activism, and mercy ministries. This opened a way for non-clerical faithful could participate in the mission of the church in a way that was not possible in a pre-Vatican II church. However, a clause that made provision for lay-ministers to administer Eucharist (communion) and lead Mass in certain circumstances (persecution of the church, incapacitation of the only available priest, etc.) also opened a way for these two complementary roles to be blurred. As a result, many parishes began to allow lay people to take on roles that were part of the ordained vocation. Pope John Paul II, in May 2002, responded to this error by issuing a clarification. In it, he affirmed the unique and seperate role of ordained ministers: "sacramental," "liturgical," and "pastoral governing." The laity can assist in many ways, but its main duty is "in the world of economic, social, political and cultural realities," as a "Gospel Witness." In effect, the clergy should lead spiritually in worship and in matters of decision-making, morality, theology, vision, and liturgical rituals. Lay people can help, but should find their place in ministering to the world as witnesses.

Protestant Churches, in the mean time, often do not have a clear demarcation between lay and ordained leaders. Many churches employ ministers that are not ordained, but who are supported by the congregation nonetheless. Non-ordained ministers perform many of the same duties of ordained ministers and lead ministries-- often youth ministries or other specific "departments" of the larger church ministry. They are, however, not free to perform matrimony, to baptize, lead a worship service, or other liturgical rites. Nevertheless, they are expected to exercise spiritual authority within their departmentalized spheres. These ministers are supported by the congregation because their entire work is for the welfare of the flock, despite the fact that they are not ordained-- though in many cases these ministers are on the path towards ordination.

It is interesting that neither Catholics nor Protestants relegate preaching and teaching to the exclusive domains of the ordained minister. Lay leaders are excluded only from areas of spiritual governance and sacred rites.

1 Corinthians 12 is a scriptural basis for the claim that both laity and clergy have distinct, complementary, and essential callings. Paul speaks of the "body" of Christ. "For the body does not consist of one member but of many... there are many parts, but one body." In other words, there are different equally necessary roles for members of the church to fulfill. Paul goes on, in vs. 27-30 to list different roles: apostles, prophets, teachers, miracles, healers, helpers, administrators, and tongues.

1 Timothy, on the other hand, spells out specific titles of servant-leadership positions. Paul himself is an apostle and oversees several churches that he planted. Timothy is a pastor, who is given authority to tell teachers what not to teach (and presumably what to teach, as well). Meanwhile, two roles appear for non-pastoral duties: overseers (in Titus, called Elders) and deacons. Overseers must be "able to teach" while deacons need not. In Titus, the overseer's teaching authority is relegated to what was taught to him-- presumably by Paul and Titus, the pastor. It is not clear whether Elders qualify for being "shared" with through financial support, as commanded by Paul in Galatians 6:6 for the sake of teachers. One could argue that since they are commanded only to teach what their pastors have taught them, they do no qualify.

The following is a list of what I currently see as Ordained functions and Lay functions. You can see that there are shared functions and also unique functions (italics):

What an Ordained Pastor Does
-Shepherd each Sheep—the Shepherd’s Burden*
-Set Vision and Direction*
-Command Congregation*
-Oversee Ministries*
-Minister Communion*
-Holy Matrimony*
-Visitation*
-Funerals*
-Baptize*
-Lead Worship*

-Preach and Teach
-Lead by Example
-Counsel Members
-Study the Word
-Support Lay Ministers
-Disciple
-Administration of Church Ministries
-Serve as Elder
-Pray for Congregation Members

What a Lay Leader Does

-Use Gifts to Edify the Body*
-Salt and Light of the Earth—point others to Christ *
-Submit to Clergy*
-Oversee Non-Teaching Ministries*
-Serve on Ministries under Pastoral or Lay Leadership*
-Support Ordained Pastors through Prayer and Finance*
-Financially Support Church Ministries*
-Serve as Deacon*

-Preach and Teach
-Lead by Example
-Counsel Brothers and Sisters
-Study the Word
-Support Co-laborers
-Disciple Younger Christians
-Administration of Church Ministries
-Serve as Elder
-Pray for those Under Your Care and for Brothers and Sisters
-Lead Worship in Auxiliary Role

These lists are not definitive and I welcome correction or disagreement. (Just Comment)

Perhaps the easiest way to draw a distinction is that the Clergy's role is to shepherd the flock in the church and tend to the spiritual growth of the church body. The Laity's role is to support and submit to pastors, help teach and to fully live out being Salt and Light witnesses in ways that pastoral ministers cannot. In the end, I suppose, both are servants to all, as Christ showed us, and are called to submit, one to the other. The Clergy submits to the congregation in sacrificing for its welfare. The Laity submits to the pastor in entrusting him with authority. They are complementary roles-- not necessarily hierarchical-- parts of the same body.

Pre-dawn Browns and How I Spend the Days

2007-07-03T19:45:00.000-04:00

Sunday Morning: The cell phone rang at 5:15AM. It was my alarm that I had set the night before, reminding me to meet a fishing protege at Otter Creek. Despite a strong temptation to ditch-- late night conversation the night before-- I drove out to find... nobody at the stream side.

Nevertheless, I was out there, so I donned my gear, and trudged sleepily into the water. I was soon awakened by the spray of the waterfalls, although my Tilley Hat shielded me from most of it. Silently, I tied on a size 14 Elkwing Caddis, tested out a few false-casts, and let the fly fly. There are days when you know you'll catch fish-- and this was one of them. In the eerie stillness, there was a sudden murmur near my Elkwing. I lifted the rod, hard, and set the hook. And because fish don't scream in panic, and because dignified fishermen don't whoop in thrill, the whole ensuing struggle transpired in a heart-thumping silence that can't be found anywhere else. I caught 9 that morning before church started.

On how I spend my time:
I've received a few inquiries regarding how I spend time while on a break. It is a little strange having such a long stretch of time free from responsibilities, but I have a schedule I try to adhere to whenever I don't have another commitment.

8:00- Wake up (earlier on fishing trip days), pray, read and meditate on 1 Corinthians; shower, breakfast, study a book (Randy Alcorn or Richard Foster), make a list of things to do for the day

9:30- Walk to library and check e-mail, read news

10:15-Begin whatever planned for the day
-1 really fun thing (travel to VT towns, fishing trip, hike, visit someone)
-1 practical thing (sermon prep, blog, help someone, curriculum plan, laundry)
-1 sentimental thing (get a cremee, take a walk, go to a pub, sit in town)
-journal (setting priorities, goals, reflecting, writing down lessons)

12:30-Lunch at home or out

1:30- Continue plans for the day

5:30- Fish locally or listen to Red Sox

8:30- Dinner, possibly meet with a friend

9:30- Go to library, e-mail, check news

10:30-Return "Home" and settle in for the night.

"Home" is very plain-- a blank, corner room with 2 windows, a closet, and a simple desk. My bed is a mat on the floor, which is rolled up every morning. Its bareness is refreshing and frames my days with focus and simplicity.

The First Four Days

2007-06-30T22:52:00.000-04:00

The heavens declare the glory of God,
and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.
Day to day pours out speech,
and night to night reveals knowledge...
Psalm 19:1-2

The past few days have been full of serenity, silence, and lots of beauty. I don't know if I used to take all this for granted, but out here the God seems nearer. The wind rustling tree leaves remind me of his divine breath that sustains us. The crimson stains on purple canvassed clouds at sunset speak of his passionate love for mankind that required the Son to die. The expanse of the sky, which is not so overwhelming in Boston, but which, here, cannot be captured from horizon to horizon in one glance, also say that His ways and thoughts are higher than our ways. His patterns of order and symmetry are traced onto every leaf, blade of grass, and groove of bark.

I haven't taken vacation in a long time, so these past few days have required a readjustment in many ways. When you are constantly surrounded with other people, noises of the city, and tasks to do, you never have to learn to be alone. When all that goes away, you are left with just your own thoughts-- and they become louder. When you finally lay those aside, you're left with just seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling, remembering, and meditating. It's in that place that, perhaps, you become more receptive to that still, small voice. I've been learning about solitude as a discipline, through reading Richard Foster's chapter on Solitude in Celebration of Discipline. For me, this has meant taking walks, sitting in silence, carrying a memorized portion of scripture throughout the day, and just taking my time getting from one place to another... Not having a schedule or any appointments, meetings, and commitments to be at is very different. It gives me more time to just be still and know that He is God.

Part of this break involves lots of fishing. Here I am in my full gear. Notice the stylish Tilley Hat given to me for just this occasion by two very good friends from home. While I can't wear this kind of thing in Boston, it's perfect for fishing and gardening (rated SPF 40!) I have not yet caught any fish, except for this gross looking one, below. It doesn't count, since it's not a trout, unfortunately. Tonight, I had two trout on a line, but I did not set the hook properly and they got away, sadly. In any case, more updates to come soon.

Death of a Passport

2007-06-29T00:11:00.001-04:00

The school year has wrapped up, much to my relief. For the first time in a long time, I am now in true vacation mode. Project Destiny is about to start, so please pray for them. Meanwhile, I'll be using the blog for the next month or so to update folks on my "Sabbatical" from youth ministry and other responsibilities. I am in Middlebury, Vermont for the next 6 weeks-- I arrived yesterday. It's silent here, like a monastery; but I am becoming acclimated to the solitude.

Here's an excerpt from my journal yesterday about the loss of my Honda and how I arrived in Middlebury at last:

...so I headed towards Vermont, knowing all I was leaving behind and much of what awaited me. Or so I thought. In Grantham, NH, the Honda began to sputter. As soon as I exited the I 89 and slowed down, the engine ground to a halt. I lost all power and barely was able to apply the brakes before hitting the perpendicular street. Apparently my car was on fire. A woman happened to pull up behind me and called for a state trooper, who arrived within seconds. He gave my car a shove towards an auto-repair, which happened to be less than 10 seconds away.

After arriving at the garage, I was told that the Passport was, for all intents and purposes, dead. The water-pump had blown and caused all sorts of heat damage to the engine block, possibly cracking a piston. The parts of the engine block had melted from the fire. “$700 just to see if the car will run,” she said. “And we can’t fix it today.”

I pondered the possibility of camping out in my Passport for a few nights while the car was fixed. I could have done it, but when one of the lead mechanics expressed severe doubt that the engine would ever start again, I knew I’d have to abandon my once-faithful steed. I called my father, who owns the car, and both my parents decided to come right away to pick up me and my stuff. Meanwhile, Deb, the manager, offered to take the Passport off of my hands for a $125 payment, which I decided was a good deal considering everything that had happened and all the services her garage had given me. So, all that was left to do was for me to wait 3 hours while watching minnows in a nearby stream and reading Richard Foster’s Celebration of Discipline.

When my parents finally arrived, I had been praying that it would be an opportunity for them to be good to one another. It appeared as if God had listened to that prayer. They were in a very good mood. For a little while, we thought out loud with one another about our options. They both finally agreed with me. What surprised me the most was they also wanted me to take my mom’s Rav4 and continue to Vermont! I tried to resist, but they insisted so unitedly that I had to just humbly accept their offer.

Perhaps God used this as an opportunity to help me appreciate my parents more. But then again, God did a lot of things that also turned this tough situation into a gift. He made sure I stalled at the best possible place and at a time when I was not in a hurry to be somewhere important. He brought along that lady who called the trooper. He helped me to stay calm and full of peace in a potentially stressful scenario. So in the end, I definitely praise the Lord for his providence and sovereignty in situations where I might not be sure of why things are happening.

Spring!

2007-05-18T09:18:00.000-04:00

Sorry for not having updated in a while. Spring is definitely here in Boston, with alternating hot days and cold, rainy days. During the warmer nights, it has been nice to see people out on the street or in the courtyard just lounging around and enjoying the night. The level of violent crime seems to have leveled off a bit after Chiara Levin's murder and the rhetoric that ensued. Sadly, sometimes it takes something like that to create enough public outcry for changes to happen. Still, with hotter weather coming, I continue to pray for peace and cool heads in the city.

In 7th Grade, we recently finished a month-long exploration of poetry. It was pretty cool, especially at the end of the unit, when students kept on posting poetry all over the classroom, in every open or hidden spot they could find. At one point, I counted 88 poems scattered: haikus about our fish, poems about my withered plants, odes to Yoda, teenage-angst-filled confessions, limericks, and more. I don't think they'll say so, but I think most of them really enjoyed reading and composing poetry (admit it!). I liked getting to talk to some of my students about big life questions that came out of the poetry, like "What's the point of life?" and "Is there really such thing as good and bad, or is it just what you think?"

As part of a publishing lesson, we took some of our favorite poems, some pieces of sidewalk chalk, and went outside to the adjacent basketball court. There, we scribed our masterpieces (or whimsies) onto the pavement for all to see. The pictures that you see are from that day. Nice job, 7th graders. It was probably hard for many of you. Here's a haiku to memorialize your struggle

Writing poetry
Liu is breathing down my back,
"Publish or perish..."

How I Grade Papers

2007-03-12T22:38:00.001-04:00

In the midst of sickness, family hardships, being bogged down with work, and paper-grading, I submit to you an ingenious method for easing one's workload when faced with 80 essays. The writer of this site has made me rethink the way that I approach my work.

In all seriousness, I could use some prayer. My classes have taken a sad turn-- I don't think my students will be ready to take the MCAS next week. We have had trouble keeping up with the calendar and are more than a little behind in the curriculum. There have been more than a few incidents of student misconduct recently and we have a few expulsions in the pipe-line. Meanwhile, because of personal issues, I've suddenly had to take several days off for the first time this year, which makes me feel like I'm losing connection with my students. All this may turn out to be nothing more than a bit of a speed bump, but right now I'm tempted to be worried.

As for Project Destiny, the planning team meets for the first time since I left, tomorrow. That means I'm pretty sure I'll be taking a break this summer-- a prospect that I would have once balked at, but which I now see wisdom in. Still, I'll miss the action...

Strike Vote Deferred!

2007-02-14T19:42:00.000-05:00

It is with a great sense of relief that I report the deferment of Boston's teacher strike vote. As of last night, there had been no progress in talks. So, today, on a day full of messy weather and apprehensions, the BTU membership arrived at the union hall. Outside, there were cameras everywhere. We were not allowed in without Union ID. As soon as I stepped into the hall, I saw an assembled mass of teachers-- up to a couple thousand all in one room!

I was all ready to make a speech about loving our profession and demonstrating a reluctance to stop doing our jobs. However, when President Stutman reported the status of negotiations, it became clear that there there had been progress. The district had given in on class sizes and principals' rights to fire teachers at will. There were murmurs of nervousness at that announcement.

Soon, we debated whether or not to defer our strike motion. I knew, at this point, that nobody from our school was going to vote for a strike, but our membership was deeply divided. We heard points of view from both sides. At one point, one member compared our struggle to civil rights in the 1960's. Anyone who knows anything about the Civil Rights movement should understand that to compare it with a labor dispute is to belittle the significance and hardship of that period in American history. The irreverence of that argument raised my ire, and I pointed out that the two were not even close to being the same thing. In the end, however, common sense prevailed in at least 51% of the teachers. Despite having to re-vote twice, and emotions running high, the motion to defer a strike vote until February 28 passed with a simple majority.

I had gone in there confident that we would have to strike the next day. What a relief to find that prayers had been answered regarding two important issues and that we could continue to do our jobs.

On another note, according to our lawyer, it appears we are going to sue the school department for violating our civil rights by banning discussion of a strike. That's politics, I'm afraid.

Preparing for Winter Youth Retreat

2007-02-13T10:02:00.000-05:00

Talks between the union and the district continue to stall. It looks more and more likely that there will be a strike on Thursday... unless a winter storm can save us! (It's coming)

Meanwhile, no matter what happens in the next few days, I'll be bringing some youths to a retreat in New Hampshire on Friday. We'll be enjoying some time away from the city while listening for the still, small voice. It's good to know that at the end of this intense week, there will be time to do the work that is really important-- mentoring and shepherding the youth to grow in loving the Lord. This will be my third year attending this retreat as a youth worker, eighth year overall.

When I was in 8th grade, attending this same retreat was one of the things that God used to turn my life around. Back then, it was at Singing Hills, NH-- I remember the power in truth that seemed to grab me during sermons about having clean hands and pure heart. I remember the warmth I felt in being accepted by everyone there, especially the youth workers, like T. Lo who was my counselor. Sure, snow-football and tubing was a blast. Believe me, when you're small, any tubing hill seems huge to you. But more importantly than all that, it was there that I was first convicted of my sin and my need for a savior.

I hope this weekend will be like that for some kid-- maybe for a few. I hope they have fun and enjoy being cared for by other kids and counselors. At the heart of it all, however, I really hope they will understand that their sin is worse than they realize, but that they are loved more greatly than they could ever imagine.

Teacher Union Ad

2007-02-10T02:27:00.000-05:00

I spoke a bit to my boss today about the role of civic-disobedience for a Christian educator. Our conversation didn't go very far, but it was clear to me that he believes we're in a very gray area. Are all laws to be regarded the same way? This law forbidding public workers from striking-- is it one that must be violated from time to time, like Jesus' treatment of the Sabbath laws? (I'm not sure I understand that very well.) He also mentioned that he believes the mayor is counting on the strike to "force" him to give into some demands. Since my boss is close to the mayor, this is very interesting to me.

Enjoy this advertisement about the only issue that actually interests me in this whole collective bargaining dispute.

Union Activity Update

2007-02-09T00:17:00.000-05:00

Sure would appreciate having some prayer on this...
The Teachers Union and the School Department are at a standstill right now in contract negotiations. The rhetoric has been heating up, and we are, in fact, in the "eleventh hour." I've got two buttons and a sign in my window that say something about a "Fair Contract." Yesterday, our Interim Superintendent issued a statement to parents warning them of possible school disruption for next Thursday-- signaling his unwillingness to bend. Meanwhile, the courts have declared any strike--or even discussion of a work stoppage-- illegal

That's how I found myself and several dozen other teachers in the school basement on Wednesday. A vague e-mail had implored us to attend an emergency meeting for an unmentionable purpose after school, so I went. In the chilly and dark space, the science teacher talked about what might happen if contract negotiations did not improve. Like troops in a bunker, we were given directions of what to do in case things went badly: how will we inform one another of impending action? Who is most likely to be arrested? Who do we call in case the worst scenarios occur?

The city has put in for a "cease and desist" order to stop the union from continuing in its contingency plans. Next Wednesday, the union will convene in South Boston. There we will debate, and in all likelihood, break the law by voting on how to take action. Thursday is the planned day of political action.

As I wrote previously, I'm not sure where I stand-- health care and class sizes don't seem like civil disobedience-worthy disagreements...

A Library!

2007-02-08T22:12:00.000-05:00

One of my students asked me today if I still maintain my blog site. The answer is, "Yes, M----, I'm still posting." (notice the use of a comma before starting a quote in mid-sentence.) There's a lot going on in school, church, and city.

A little less than a year ago, I joined in the multitude of voices from Chinatown advocating the case for a local branch library by testifying at City Hall. Well, after that hearing, about $350,000 was earmarked for an exploratory task force to study the feasibility of opening a library branch in Chinatown. Finally, after many months, our library task force met for the first time, last Thursday. Our meeting was mostly introductory, but we laid out a time-table that stretches to a couple of years. It's pretty exciting that we're interviewing architectural firms soon, but no construction will occur for at least 2 years.

"I fully support the restoration of a BPL branch in Chinatown. In order to do so, we need to create an ad hoc committee to advocate for the library, implement strategies used in successful models in LA and Oakland, research and locate a proper location, lobby the mayor to set aside capital funding, and lobby for state and federal funding after securing mayoral support." -- the Mayor's Chinatown Library Task Force, as described by Councilor Matt O'Malley

Chinatown Library, as seen in L.A.

I was asked, as a teacher, what I would like in a Chinatown library. Well, it would be great to have internet access for research, as well as a significant collection of young adult literature. Seeing that we are in Chinatown, it would also be appropriate for there to be books printed in Chinese in the stacks. I'm not sure I believe anymore, as I said in my testimony at City Hall, that a library will help to curtail violence in the city. It seems kind of a ridiculous stretch to claim that. However, I do think that a library will improve the quality of education and life in this corner of the city. Maybe that will have an indirect impact on youth related crimes.

It's funny that the building my school occupies is being bid for by several groups, including my church, my apartment building's developer, and friends of the library campaign. People often ask me, "When are you moving out?" All I can say is that we've been slated for demolition for several years now. Who knows if we'll ever move out. It's amazing how much demand for land there is here and how little of it there is.

No matter where it is, wouldn't it be awesome to have a library in Chinatown? It's probably not even one of the most important things that God desires for this corner of the city, but being involved in this is one of way to "seek the peace and prosperity of the city" to which God has carried me. (Jer. 29:7)

To Strike or Not To Strike

2007-01-18T22:50:00.000-05:00

I have been wrestling with an interesting dilemma as a teacher, as a professional, as a Christian, and as a colleague. Last week, the union set a strike date for February 15. The BTU has been in talks with the city for some time now and believes we will not make serious progress. As a matter of fact, tomorrow morning, I'm being asked to picket for the first 20 minutes of the day. That will lead up to the strike which still needs to be ratified on February 14. To add fuel to the fire, the superintendent sent a letter threatening teachers with everything, including criminal prosecution and loss of licensure.

The question is: on which side of the picket line should I stand? The issues are fairly straight-foward: Health Care coverage and Class Size Caps. On the one hand, I want to support my colleagues and the people who work so hard to make sure I get my "fair" due. As a matter of fact, I'm very grateful to the union because I receive a comfortable pay and benefits package now, as well as very reasonable work requirements. I also don't want to lose any friends who feel strongly about the issue.

On another hand, I didn't come here to teach in order to get a comfortable work arrangement or good health coverage. I'm a teacher because that's what God wants me to do. I would work in the same school even if I were being payed a lot less. Sriking is against the law for public workers. I don't want to break a law either.

It comes down to the fact that I don't feel passionately enough about the issue to break the law, but my colleagues do. Do I alienate myself from them? What would happen if I crossed the picket line? Would my colleagues understand?

Maybe the answer is simple. Just get sick on the day of the strike and request a sick day. That way, I won't be breaking the law, and I won't alienate my fellow teachers. The more I look at it, the better I like that solution. Anyone have a communicable disease they can give me?

Back for Now...

2007-01-18T22:25:00.001-05:00

While life carries on in the city (3 shooting incidents that have affected some of our students in the past month, politics of a new governor, major episodes of vandalism, etc) I've found it easier to take all that happens around me for granted. The violence, especially, becomes numbing because you hear of it so much. So it's in our front doorstep now-- big deal. Blah. Another homicide? That's the norm.

The danger in this kind of attitude is that not only do you become numb, and thereby escape the angst that comes with mourning for the city, but you also harden your heart and escape having to care for people. You have to remind yourself that it's not normal. You shouldn't have to be telling kids at this age that it's "a part of life" when they tell you their friend was shot and killed. Christians living in the city need to be sensitive to what's going on and never accept it as normal. Just like any other sin that we live with in this world, we are called to be strangers here-- that means the culture of violence should be apalling to us and we shouldn't allow ourselves to "get used to it." The innocence we carry is the hope of Christ which lives in us. That is the "light" in John 1 that has not been overcome by darkness.

The Questions they Ask

2006-12-19T00:06:00.000-05:00

Where did Jesus show up in my conversations this week?

Barney: God sure made some interesting creatures, didn’t he, Mr. Liu?

Alan: You’re a Christian, Mr. Liu?

Janine: Do you believe in Jesus, Mr. Liu?

Mick: Is Jesus real, Mr. Liu?

Darren: I don’t believe in God, Mr. Liu

I love working in the city. From what I've seen, urban kids are a lot more open to talking about God than suburban kids. Maybe it has something to do with parents who have higher education levels being more resistant to 'conservative' viewpoints, but here in the city, I get to answer questions about Jesus (very tactfully) at least a few times per week.

Saving Fish from Soup

2006-12-18T23:17:00.000-05:00

When I arrived last Monday to school, the first words anyone said to me that morning were, "Mr. Liu, they killed your fish." Soon, I found my 25 gallon tank filled with oil, sugar, salt, vinegar, and other substances toxic to my freshwater fish. Besides that, my couch and pillows, as well as printer and computers, were drowned in corn oil. Attendance records were drenched. Homework assignments were wiped out. We had been vandalized. Other classrooms had similar damage and we were left flabberghasted.

Frustrated, I threw a pillow at the wall. You give your heart and time to your students, so when something like this happens, it really is like a stab in the back. (For several reasons, we are pretty confident it was a student) As 7th graders came in, many jaws dropped, surprised at what had happened. "Mr. Liu, I feel sorry for you," said one. "The fishies!!!" exclaimed another. After a brief moment of disappointment, it was time to get to work. Obviously, it wouldn't be right to proceed with the lesson that morning with all that damage in sight, so I mobilized my first period class. Some kids began scooping fish from the tank. Others started blow drying the room. Others, still, were cataloging the damage.

The most encouraging part of the day was seeing Janine taking the lead to scoop fish out from the polluted tank with her own hands. I had serious doubts, especially because the water in the tank was like a rich and oily soup. Nonetheless, every single one of the fourteen mosquito fish were saved on that day! Even though we didn't get very much work done, it may have been one of the best moments of our class this year!

Turtles in the classroom

2006-10-25T11:50:00.000-04:00

On the list of random things that happen in middleschool:

One of my students has a turtle. It is a tiny red-eared slider which she carries around either her pocket often in or her backpack. It amazes me that the little reptile is still alive, but it seems to be very healthy. Today I caught her with the animal and we started a very nice discussion about turtle-care. It's events like this that remind you that even though kids in 7th Grade are growing up and becoming more and more independent, they're still kids and do the most surprising things sometimes.

What's Your Neighborhood Like?

2006-10-22T00:04:00.001-04:00

So I assigned our first portfolio assignment last month: a descriptive essay about your neighborhood. I was pretty pleased with the level of description and detail in most of the essays. Generally, the Black and Hispanic kids paint a more stark and gritty picture of Boston than the Chinese kids do, but one essay written by one of the Chinese boys stuck out to me more than others-- here are a few excerpts, unedited:

My parents are rasist so I can't go out because I'll get "shot."....

One night, as I was about to sleep. I heard "PUT YOUR *****ING HANDS UP" Engines roared, tired screached, guns were being fired and sirens were singing. That night 3 people died. Mayor Menino said that he would hire more police. I dont think he ever did.

Here, in the inner city, amidst ignorance, critical minds are developing-- kids who think about race and the sinister assumptions that lie behind seemingly innocent comments like "you'll get shot." Not only that, but as 12 year olds, they are learning to connect their local experience with political and social responsibilities. It just goes to show, diamonds do grow out of the rough.

Injustice Stings

2006-10-21T18:24:00.000-04:00

Why didn't He send somebody else?

I kept a student after school for 3 hours tonight, on a Friday. Don't worry, his parents didn't care because they have no idea where he goes afterschool anyway. In those three hours, that student learned more than he had this entire month of school combined. And yet, if I could have him after school every week for three hours, we still wouldn't even begin to scratch the surface of his achievement defecit. Afterwards, I was left to stare at the reality that I am just barely chipping away at Mount Everest.

It's unfair that his parents can't help him because they don't speak English and because they're never home. It's unfair that the public school system has failed him and that he does not have a real ESL class to support him. It's unfair that the MCAS is going to be applied to him and he will have no hope of passing. It is unfair that Boston can't give him all the resources that he needs to succeed, like they probably would be able to in Newton or Andover. It's unfair that he's stuck in a school where we mostly hire inexperienced and clueless teachers like me who may have a lot of heart, but are lacking in skill. If I spent a year, focusing only on this student and trying to help only him succeed, I might have a hope. But when I look at the twelve to fifteeen students who need that kind of help, I can't help but feel daunted. Faced with a mountain to tear down, I've only got a spoon.

When I read Exodus, I find that I cannot criticize Moses for asking God to send somebody better to do the job.

First All-Nighter of the Season... Ethnic Tension

2006-10-13T11:45:00.000-04:00

So yesterday, all of the different things I am involved in finally caught up to me, and I had to pull off my first all-nighter in a very long time. I spent my time grading, lesson planning, preping my youth ministry lesson, creating progress reports, and analyzing student data. I've learned a thing or two about all-nighters-- the most important of which is the 30 minute nap. I took two of these last night, and it kept me going.

Some of you may be aware that the city just hit 56 homicides for the year. Sadly, people are starting to take it for granted. The other night, I was caught up in the middle of a dispute between two tenants-- one Black lady and an Asian lady. Apparently, the Asian lady had spit on the other woman's kids in frustration. The discussion got a little heated and at one point, one of the women standing by chimed in, saying, "You know if we were in Roxbury, we wouldn't be having this discussion, because we all know that it would been over by now, and you know what I'm talking about." It's sad that some folks in this town can toss that kind of thing around so indiscriminately.

On that note, ethnic tensions in this neighborhood may be higher than I had thought before. I suspect that the reason I got my apartment for cheap was because the Chinese families didn't want to live beside the Black families. And while some of the kids, especially one group of very young siblings, really don't seem to abide by the unspoken color-line, most of the adults seem distrust each other on a deep and sub-conscious level.

Closer to Home

2006-10-07T16:20:00.000-04:00

This recently happened right on my street. There's not much to say, but it's sad. In the words of one of my kids, "Man, the shootings is getting insane." Later, I saw a bus with a sign on it that said, "More drama than driving in Boston traffic." Irony.

An unidentified male was being sought Thursday after he allegedly fired as many as five gunshots into a small clot of teenagers outside the emergency room of Tufts New England Medical Center in Chinatown, authorities said.

One bullet struck a young man in the leg, officials from the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority said. Another shot lodged in the driver’s side of a nearby Silver Line bus, they said. No one on the crowded bus was injured, and passengers were put on another bus, police said.

The suspect, who authorities believe is a teenager, fired his weapon about 5 p.m. and then ran across Washington Street, between the Josiah Quincy Elementary School and Quincy Tower, witnesses and MBTA officials said.

Police roped off Oak Street in front of the Wang YMCA of Chinatown and searched neighboring buildings and around the school with dogs.

Hyphenated Modifiers... and Pizza.

2006-10-02T22:55:00.000-04:00

Ugh. I knew it would be a difficult lesson before I even started; but the blank stares of death nearly smothered me today. I thought I'd try spicing up the class with some challenging concepts, like implicit/explicit metaphors, hyphenated modifiers, commas when preceeded by an introductory phrase... The interruptions to the lessons were plentiful-- a student started singing in the middle of the lesson, a freight train blasted its horn for three straight minutes, we had an unexpected fire-drill... It took all the self-discipline I had to let it go without nailing home the lesson.

I've come a long way since my first year teaching. Back then, I would have just felt bad about myself and fed a cycle of negative self-talk. Nowadays, I'm realizing that I'm always going to have some days like this, when I'm doing everything wrong and my lessons are horrible.

And here's how it relates to the big picture: who cares what a hyphenated modifier is? Yeah, English is important; but I hope that in all our collective successes and failures as a class, I will never teach kids that English is the most important thing. Failed English lessons become good character lessons and a reminder to keep perspective. I am here to point people to Jesus Christ; and if I trade that birth-right for a pottage of good English lessons, then shame on me.

After a walk and a deep breath, the rest of my classes today went well. I played catch with my advisory, and made pizza with my culinary arts class (yes, I teach cooking!!!). I always try to remember that they'll remember more about the kind of person you were than what kind of lessons you taught.

Jaz and the Brand New Ending

2006-09-27T23:52:00.000-04:00

I was so proud of Jaz today-- one of the kids I had previously. She focused really hard on cooperative reading with Deja and Erica today. She’s been sitting with them and she has been succeeding. I don’t know how long this will last, but I feel like she entered into this school year with a more positive attitude after being kept back from last year. On the first day, I put up the quote, “One cannot go back and make a brand new beginning; but one can start from this point and make a brand new ending.” Jaz responded in writing, saying she felt like she was reaping the consequences of skipping class and slacking off last year. She told me the story of her father never being home and how her mother is still in China. I was so sad reading that paper. It's amazing how you can know a kid for a whole year and never hear that stuff. The whole time, you think of her as a class-cutter, and you forget to ask what's going on beneath it all. She resolved, at the end of the written response, to do better this year, to make a "brand new ending" for herself. Perhaps I, too, can resolve to do a better job of helping her this year.

So far, the school year is going well. I can see how much experience helps, now that I'm in my third year at JQUS. I miss those 9th graders whom I had as 7th graders, but I'm also glad to put those first 2 years behind me. I'll write more about my different and interesting roles some other time, one of those roles being a cooking instructor! For now, I'm thankful to be feeling challenged and motivated to improve. For a while I've been wondering if I'm really cut out for this. I'm still not sure, but right now, I feel at least competent and that I am helping these kids more than harming them.

Kids getting Younger and Younger

2006-09-12T23:20:00.000-04:00

It seems every year, kids get younger and younger. This past Friday, in youth group, the change was almost shocking. I knew that we would have a much younger group of middle-schoolers, especially with the addition of 6th graders this year; but as I looked out at the crowd of little kids, I wondered, how do you teach and counsel kids this age? Will they sit and listen to a sermon? What can we talk about in our small group time? How do you bond with them?

As my 9th graders moved onto 10th grade and out of the realm of my specific Friday night ministry, I realized that I had the same questions at the beginning of last year about them. I wasn't sure if anything was happening, until pretty recently, when we started having sleepovers and more outside hangout time. They have recently evolved into a group that cares more for one another and prays for each other, sometimes. It's sad to see them go, yet they serve as a reminder to me of how these groups grow and change. Praise God for the work He has done in them!

I wonder, sometimes, if my abilities are best suited for this age group. I started off as a counselor for older teens, and in many ways, it is where I still feel most comfortable. Still, for the time being, the Lord has put me here, and I'll joyfully wait and see what He has in store-- the divine appointments, the relationships, and personal growth. Definitely, I'll be stretched in patience, in learning to care for younger kids, and in learning how to teach them. It looks like I've got 6 talks scheduled in the fall and winter, covering the book of acts.

Meanwhile, I'm really excited that God is bringing lots of new visitors and potential counselors. He's answering prayers for more youth workers, which we prayed for 6 months ago!

Back from Maine Retreat

2006-09-07T22:50:00.000-04:00

The retreat in Maine was interesting for many reasons. On the first night, we were sitting around the campfire, when all of a sudden, one of the men emerges from the darkness, very excited. I look and in his hands, he is holding a huge FROG! So I admired it, like everyone else, and then waited to see when he would let it go. He didn't. Instead, he took a butcher's knife and tried to cut it's head off! "We can make soup," he said. Fortunately, he missed and the frog jumped out of the way. So everyone else decided to keep the frog alive until they were hungry!??!

Speaking was new and challenging. I gave a set of talks on "Changes that Heal," which was the theme they had chosen. I know there's a book by that title, which I didn't read, but I chose to divide up the talks into these "changes":

1) Experiencing God's Grace through Others-- becoming vulnerable
2) Meeting Jesus in Suffering-- changing our understanding of pain
3) Trusting the God who Sees-- returning to our broken relationships
4) Everything is Rubbish (but You)-- fixing our eyes on Jesus, our joy

I got to pray for a few guys who connected to the messages. It was nice to be with the Vietnamese Church again, at least for a little while. I'm still praying for you guys.

Those of you who prayed for me, thanks. I felt prayed for!

Heading up to Maine (Please Pray)

2006-09-01T17:34:00.000-04:00

Over the past week, I've been re-focusing on teaching, especially these past few days, when I've spent a lot of time in my classroom. Three of my former students showed up to help move furniture-- the same guys who helped me move into my current apartment. I'm glad to be able have an ongoing relationship with them, even though I haven't been their teacher for 2 years. It reminds me that God often uses you to make an eternal impact in someone's life, even if it isn't so apparent immediately.

There's so much to look forward to this year. We're starting up TWR (the junior high youth group) again soon, I've got guitar classes that will also begin in a few weeks, and, of course, there's the new students I'm going to meet. I'm excited and a little anxious at the same time.

More immediately, I'm about to head up to Maine for a weekend retreat with the VAC young adults. I've been invited to speak. I've got my outlines for the talks, but I'll need the car-ride to solidify everything. Please PRAY for me! I've never spoken at retreat before. Pray that God would use me to deliver his Word and that the Holy Spirit would convict and change hearts. I very much need and covet your prayer support this weekend. Thanks!

The Lead of Love

2006-08-28T13:19:00.000-04:00

I’ve been thinking through the last couple of weeks so that I could figure out what to report to you. So much has happened and there is so much to look forward to as well, here in Boston. I'll save the future for another post, however. After Project Destiny ended I had about a week off before getting back into the swing of things, in preparation for Summer Teen Conference—our youth retreat in Alfred, Maine. The retreat, over the years, has become a significant way for us to wrap up summer ministries and integrate students from the outreach programs into our regular youth groups. The theme this year was “The Lead of Love,” how God leads us not to a place, but to a person, not to a destination, but to a destiny.

The preparation was pretty adventurous on several fronts. On one front was worship team, where I got to help the students learn new songs, but also, I prepared to play drums for the first time in “public.” You can imagine for yourself how that sounded. The other front was the creation of the camp handbook. In a series of complicated plot twists involving multiple trips to Copy Cop, a misguided trip to Brookline, and an all-nighter, the handbook did not get completed until a few hours before the retreat started! Thank God that it got done—it could have been so much more complicated.

So it was that despite my being really tired, Summer Teen Conference began. I had taken my 9^th grade boys as my small group for the weekend. It is the last time that I will be their counselor, as they are moving into the high school youth group. It was important, then, that we had some good one-on-one time: i.e. huddles. We had our huddles on interesting places—a sailboat, a canoe, a porch swing…I was really struck by some of the things the guys shared during their huddle time and appreciated their openness about family, faith, and sin. We had some memorable discussions- one of them on a shooting range talking about God's design for suffering, one of them in my 4x4's trunk in the middle of a downpour. Our last discussion, where we shared the things we needed prayer for during the school year, was probably our most important. Not all these boys are Christians, but I can see how God is leading them all to know Jesus Christ better as their Lord and Savior and follow him. Having 6^th graders in the fall will be so different.

I know some of you had us in your prayers—thanks! Everything went pretty well and I feel like the weekend effectively helped to integrate the PD kids into youth ministry, as well as building up the young Christians in our church. Middlebury-folks—you might be interested to know that Tom and Megan were on staff at Camp Cherith at the same time we were there for the conference. It was a treat to see them in between the huddles and discussions. Finally, I’ll leave you with a picture I took while taking some time off to go hiking (FINALLY!!!) in Vermont this past week, as well as some lyrics from Caedmon’s call. As I begin work as a teacher again tomorrow, it seems like an appropriate way to wrap up the summer’s round of postings. Thanks for praying and reading this summer.

Looking back at the road so far, the journey’s left its share of scars
Mostly from leaving the narrow and straight
Looking back I can clearly see, man is more than the sum of his deeds
How you made good of this mess I’ve made is a profound mystery…

Looking back I can finally see how failures bring humility
Brings me to my knees, helps me see my need for Thee.

…looking back, I see the lead of Love.

Project Destiny Update 6: Last Days of Camp

2006-08-10T09:47:00.000-04:00

If doing PD this summer was a like a marathon, the final week was like a sprint. I feel like I used up the last of my energy in the last stretch down to the finish line. It flew by like a jet airplane on afterburners. My role, during those last days, was to lend logistical and sometimes hands on support to the counselors. I kept a car on hand to go buy things that were needed last minute. I got to provide backup for different classes that were busy or needed extra personel to finish their projects. During the last couple of days, there were times when it seemed that I was gathering the skeleton crew of counselors who were available to supervise/ run programming for 50 kids because many of the other staff members were busy trying to finish up different publications and office jobs in time for our final day of camp.

One highlight was Friday, when the kids ran a home-made streetfair for the neighborhood. Think of an empty church parking lot, filled with 12 streetfair games-- each made out of cardboard boxes, tables, and other easily obtainable items-- painted in vibrant colors. There were games like "extinguish the candle with a watergun," "soak the counselor," "penguin walk race" and other games invented and created by the students. We had music blasting and prizes available at a ticket redemption booth, which I manned all afternoon. We had a lot of people from the community come-- it was a lot of fun and it was a meaningful way to finish the camp.

On Saturday, we had Family Night, a time for family and friends of Project Destiny to come and see the results of the summer's hard work. We displayed tons of artwork, including paintings, drawings, student-directed movies, clay-animated featurettes, and street art. At 6:00, we served dinner to 190 people! At 7:30, everyone filed into the sanctuary of the church to see the feature presentations-- peformances by my guitar class, the chinese hammered dulcimer class, another dulcimer class, singing, dancing, and a drama presentation. Those 190 people who came also heard the Gospel, preached in Chinese by Pastor Kenneth Kwong.

That was a great night of celebration, but also of non-stop work. I was the emcee that night, so my role was to run a last minute dress rehearsal of the different acts. At the same time, I had 4 guitar students whom I had not quite prepared enough for the trauma of performing, so I had to be in two places at once. Once we ran the dress rehearsal, I realized that we had not thought of how to set the stage, or transition from act to act-- things I never realized were so important to a production. Also, I remembered that I had nobody to translate for me, so I asked our speaker, Pastor Kenneth, to also double as a translator. When he left after his talk, I tried my hand at translating my own Chinese to the crowd. It was hilarious and I probably shouldn't try it again. I think I might have accidentally told the crowd that we were giving away lottery tickets to the students at one point...

So camp is over, and I plan to write one or two more updates. But before I end, one more poignant moment-- during dinner, in between running around and comforting my desperately nervous guitar students ("don't make me do it Mr. Liu!") I ran into Samson's mother. "Thank you so much for all you've done for him," she said. "You know he really likes you a lot and talks about church all the time. Even though he'll be in highschool, please check in on him every once in a while." When I told her that she should encourage him to keep coming to church, she said, "I don't need to do that. He goes on his own. He'll probably keep going forever. It's good for him... I can see him starting to change. So I have hope..." It was just one little conversation, but what a powerful testimony to what God has done this summer in just this one student's life. It is a theme, that I am sure resonates with other campers as well.

Project Destiny Update 5: Good News and Staff Update

2006-07-31T13:30:00.000-04:00

Remember Samson, the student I wrote about a few weeks ago? He prayed to receive Christ this past week! For me, it seemed to be the answer to many prayers and a confirmation that the Holy Spirit was at work in the different circumstances I had recounted. It happened after a conversation between him and another counselor. Samson realized that he believed everything that a Christian does and that he did not need to first be "good" in order to accept Christ as Savior. So right then and there, he prayed and professed faith. Afterwards, he told me, "Mr. Liu, I just became a Christian!" He was noticeable happy the rest of the day.

Aside from that story, it was a roller coaster week for the counselors. Many were tired and some were carrying the weight of burdens and sorrows. Sometimes, especially after you've spent so much time together every day, you wish you could carry their weights for them.
I've really grown to love this team a lot. When you read over applications in the winter and spring, you try your best to get a sense of each person's strengths, weaknesses, passions and needs. You try to imagine what the team will be like and how the personalities will come into play; but the result usually ends up being a surprise. It's only after you live, work, and grow with each person that you have a chance to really care about them.

The first year that I was a counselor, in '97, this kind of community was new to me, so I really missed the team when PD was over. The same is true again this year-- but maybe even more so. I feel the end of camp nearing and I know I'll miss this team.

Please pray for us this week as the final week is upon us. It is truly crunch time for the different programming elements we have. Also, we try to make final push to point the campers towards Jesus Christ while integrating them into our regular youth ministries. On Friday, we had a huge turnout at the Junior High youth group event-- 67 students! Pray that this would only be the beginning as we try to keep up our relationships with these students.

Project Destiny Update 4: Good Weather

2006-07-23T14:41:00.000-04:00

The third week of PD has just passed. This week, we were facing the prospect of cancelling yet another two field trips. We had already cancelled two previously-- once due to heavy rain and once due to heat. I remember thinking to myself, it's a good thing our classes and regular programming this year is so much fun, because otherwise, it would be difficult to swallow the loss of 4 field trips. Still, the Lord allowed us to avoid a major tropical storm, and so we had our trips to a berry farm and to a lobstering excursion.

This here is a picture of a visit to a museum we took. Our mentoring groups have been bonding together through field trips like this one, and through their discussion times in the mornings and afternons. They have been discussing what they're learning from the morning chapel times and one student, this week, asked how she could accept Christ!

This week, I got to share about three scripture passages for morning team devotionals. The first was on Colossians-- the supremacy of Christ, the second was on Martha and Mary-- following Christ with joy by listening to him, and the third was on Jesus calming the storm-- the place of peace in Christian's life. I look forward to these chances to share the Word and relate it to our team. Ever since starting to teach at VAC, it is an area of ministry that I've been hoping to grow in. I've got a few opportunities possibly coming up in the fall-- teaching to the junior high youth group. I really enjoying preparing the talks, but the actual delivery is the hardest part.

The team took a retreat yesterday. We read some devotional materials and spent the day resting and doing a little bit of reflection. It was a much needed time for our team. I know I am recharged and ready to go for the next two weeks. Here's a picture of our team staring at a computer one day after camp one day. I don't know what they're all so engrossed by.

Project Destiny Update 3: Samson, Medical Fiascoes

2006-07-16T22:26:00.000-04:00

The second week of PD has concluded and I have a few stories to report. One of them involves one of my students from JQUS-- an 8th grader who was my 7th grade student last year. We'll call him Samson. I remember one day last year, Samson got upet at me during class and challenged me to a fight. "Meet you afterschool and we'll settle this," he had said.

"Ok, you want to settle this? We can settle it," I had said, agreeing to meeting him. What have I just done? I remember asking myself. I've accepted a student's challenge to fight! When Samson arrived afterschool, I tried to think quickly. I wondered what he was thinking. Suddenly, inspiration struck-- I had two play swords mounted on my walls for our drama unit. I challenged him to a fencing match! I got to teach him the rules and beat him a few times before letting him win. Thank God we turned that situation around!

Since then, a lot has gone on with Samson-- he started coming to our Friday night youth groups regularly and he's in Project Destiny this year. Just this past week, I got to "go to bat" for Samson when he unexpectedly found out he had to go to summerschool and thus miss PD. He was pretty upset when I called him on the phone that night. I reassured him, saying I'd go find out what was going on, and that he should not worry too much.

The next day, instead of going to the field trip with the camp, I met with some of the administration at my school. The details of that conversation are not subject to public disclosure, but after talking about a few inconsistencies, we sorted out the fact that Samson would not have to go to summer school. When I finally arrived at the field trip site, several hours later, I got to talk to Samson, whose appreciation and thankfulness could not have been more evident. It was definitely one of the blessings of doing this work. I can see how Samson is becoming a lot more comfortable with church and the people there.

On another note, we sent two students to the emergency room this past Friday. One of them fell off a swing and crashed, chest first, into the ground. He soon started coughing blood. Fearful of a Drew Bledsoe type injury-- remember when he tore one of his arteries in the 2001 season, just before Tom Brady's ascension?-- I called in an ambulance to take him to the hospital. He eventually checked out ok.

The second student had a random piece of debris fly into his eye and it got stuck there. He said the pain rated an 8/10-- 10 being the worst pain you could ever experience. Ouch. So I accompanied him to the hospital, where they removed the debris and gave him medication. The nurse, who had seen our staff there earlier commented, "You're keeping us in business today. What are you doing to those kids?" Maybe she could ask, what are they doing to us? In all 6 years of doing PD, I've never had to talk to our Medical Consultant. On that day, we called her 3 times!

On another note, I am now completely funded. Again, thankyou so much for all your financial generosity and your prayers. Please pray this week for continued energy and health, as I've been feeling a little under the weather. Thanks again.

Project Destiny Update 2: First Week

2006-07-09T15:46:00.000-04:00

The first week of Project Destiny concluded with a fun field trip to Georges Island this past Friday. Over the first four days of camp, our students bonded together with their mentoring groups through group games, field trips, and discussion times. We've been presenting the gospel in the mornings through the story of Joseph in Genesis (you can ask me how that works some time) via skits and sermons. Our teaching counselors have been training their students in Street Art, Chinese Dulcimer, Guitar, Movie Making, Sports Competency, and more. The students seem to be having a great time and are warming up to their counselors.

Personally, it has been a blessing to be able to talk and relate with campers on a different level than I can as a public school teacher. Even teaching guitar is different because my students really want to learn how to play. They are a nice group of kids. Here is a picture from one of our field trips-- a phot-scavenger hunt in Chinatown. Ignore the gang hand-signs, please.

Please pray for grace, patience, and physical energy for the team. I know I've gotten little sleep while keeping up a very busy day-- and the rest of the staff has a similar schedule. I'm almost completely funded-- I'm down by about 100 dollars, which I am confident the Lord will provide. Thank you for being involved in the work here. I'll have some more detailed stories to tell soon.