Good Friday

These are all the words that Jesus spoke while nailed to the cross, in probable chronological order:

"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."
(as he was being nailed)
"Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise."
(to the repentant thief at his side)
"Woman, behold, your son!"..."Behold, your mother!"
(to Mary, his mother, and John)

"Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?"
(my God, my God, why have you forsaken me?)

"I thirst."
"It is finished...Father, into your hands I commit my spirit."
(and he breathed his last)

I've long been haunted by the ante-penultimate utterance of Jesus, "My God, why have you forsaken me?" When I was very young, the story was a story like others; except it had a tragic ending. I couldn't understand why they called it Good Friday. As far as I was concerned, we all should be very sad on that day, a day when an innocent man was killed wrongly. Throughout middle-school, I began to look at the crucifixion as an exercise in endurance and faith that we could emulate. But Jesus' calling out of that Hebrew phrase clashed with my understanding of his death. His exclamation left me with two possible conclusions: either Jesus ran out of faith at the end, or God really did abandon him.

Later, when I became a Christian, the enormity of that one phrase dawned on me. Yes-- I was right all along. Both my conclusions were correct. Jesus did run out of faith at the end. And God did really abandon him. See, you cannot have faith when there is nothing there to have faith in! When God removed his presence from Jesus-- when he removed all grace and allowed nothing but his wrath and hatred to focus on his son, when he turned his face from Christ-- there was no way he could just believe that God was still there with him.

Whether we believe in him or not, God gives us common grace so that life is possible and bearable. He looks on us, and so we live. If for even a second, God removed his presence and grace from us, there would be no goodness at all in this life that we cling to. For Jesus, whose relationship with the Father was characterized, since eternity past, by perfect love, the removal of God's presence and sudden onslaught of divine hatred would have been unimaginably horrible.

Jesus said those words... and from them, we understand that his substitutionary sacrifice for sinners like you and me was accepted by the Father. And so, if someone were to ask me about that phrase, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" I would say, "There's an answer to Jesus' question, you know-- it's not purely rhetorical. God turned his face away from Jesus so that he could turn his face towards you."

...by the way-- I received my acceptance into Gordon-Conwell on Thursday. =)

Winter Teen Conference and March

March promises an imminent end to winter. It has been a relatively milder one in Boston, with some days like today, when it has felt more like spring than winter. This past month has been eventful on different fronts

1) I am still awaiting word from Gordon-Conwell, though I have finished filing for scholarships. I will begin writing letters requesting prayer and assistance once I find out if I've been accepted. Also, there is the real possibility of taking on a structured apprenticeship a church I'm connected with, which would help both in terms of experience and finances-- I'm pretty excited about that possibility.

2) During Presidents' Day Weekend, I led a small group for 8 ninth grade boys during Winter Teen Conference, our church's youth retreat. I got to live in a cabin, hold discussions, have one-on-one talks, and hang out with them all weekend long. The speaker sessions, by Pastor Joseph Tsang from Vision Church in NYC, focused on lessons from Jonah-- God using broken people to bring about repentance and reconciliation for his glory, the misguided human obsession with "justice," the lengths God goes through to chase people down, and the need to descend when the world tells us to go up on the ladders of status and comfort. Most memorable for me were the one-on-one talks I had with my boys this weekend. It is humbling to try to see ninth graders through God's eyes as opposed to your own-- it reminded me how far apart my heart is from that of Jesus.

3) I had conversations with folks from Vietnamese Alliance Church this past weekend. It is hard for me to convey to people how much I miss serving there and being caught up in the lives of friends in that small church. If the same thing remains on your heart for a long time, does it mean God is nudging you there? There are still imprints on me left over after 2 years, like the places on rugs where old furniture used to be. I'm praying about whether or not-- or when-- to renew some sort of involvement-- whether it be preaching on Sundays, leading a small group, mentoring individuals, or just visiting more often. I wonder if Apostle Paul's experiences were personally conflicting and torn like this-- wanting to be in more than one place at once. Pray for VAC, as they continue to search for an English pastoral staff-person.

4) Vacation was very restful, although I was sick for most of it. At least half of our entire Winter Teen Conference staff came down with flu-like symptoms after the retreat. We canceled youth groups the following Friday, but if we had gone ahead, more than half of the youth workers would have been sick! Thank God for the snow=).

5) At school, this has been a much more difficult year than years past. One big reason is not having as many opportunities to build relationships with my students. We haven't had many field trips, and I only see them during the mornings (I teach in another site in the afternoons). At recent meetings, we decided to have more field trips in the months of March and April. I'm looking forward to those. Now if only we could skip the MCAS at the end of this month...

6) The Chinatown Library Advisory Council concluded its work in February. We've been working for around a year to design a Boston Public Library branch in Chinatown. During those meetings, I've gotten to learn more about how different agencies and groups compete for land in a dense city neighborhood and the issues involved in community action efforts. I've consistently attempted to represent the needs of schools, community youths, and reluctant students in Chinatown in our discussions. We've narrowed the possibilities down to three more likely sites: 1) Parcel P12 next to the DoubleTree, 2) BCEC's current site, 3) and a site adjacent to the Chinatown Gateway. There will be a public presentation on our work, along with models of what each site's library might look like and what the next steps forward are on March 18, 6-8PM, at the Quincy School cafeteria. Come, you are invited!