Changes Part II: End of VAC Service

It hasn't really sunk in, yet, that my time at Dorchester is over. This past Sunday was my last day there-- my last sermon, last time worshipping together with everyone, last time hearing the worship team lead. We're the kind of church that is small in numbers, but big in heart and strong in community. I know I'll miss the process of seeking God's vision for the church and working with other dedicated lay-people to serve the Lord and each other.

Over the past year, God has used me there to accomplish a great deal, but he's also used those at the church to accomplish a great deal in me as well. When I started going there, I was just Duy's Shadow. The Lord taught me how to handle cross-cultural relationships-- even with different cultures that are right here in the same city that I live in. He grew in me a willingness to love the youth. They weren't really anybody in my eyes when I first arrived, but now they all have permenant indentations on my heart and mind-- like a spot on a carpet after the heavy furniture is lifted from it. He also made me preach more than I ever did before and now I'm no longer as nervous about taking on a sermon


Vi, School, and Uyen said a few words after my sermon and the youth gave me some gifts, which will serve to remind me to pray for them every so often. All of you TYGers will be well missed, but definitely prayed for=). We've grown a lot together and gone through a lot as a group-- remember to keep running for the Lord don't be a bystander in life.

Although I went there to do youth ministry, I'll also miss my adult and young adult friends that I met there. For those that I consider my peers, your presence was always a support for me and your friendship lifted me up... random BBQ's, outings, late night restaurant dining, meetings to find our first English Minister, visits to Boston churches in the dead of winter... Thank You.

I'm leaving to see how God wants me to serve in Chinatown at this time. How can I bring the Gospel of Grace to my "hood?" I hope that you at VAC will seek do the same for yours. If we run after him, who knows where and when the Lord will choose to have us cross paths again?

JQUS 8th Grade Promotion

Here is the video that I put together for the Wednesday 8th grade promotion. During my best moments as a teacher, I see them with all the optimism and tenderness that I tried to put in video... at othertimes, I'm lacking and see them quite differently=)

Changes Part I: End of School

So much is changing in my areas of focus right now. It has been an amazing 1.5 weeks of non-stop action. Simultaneously, this week, I concluded my second school year, my time of service at Vietnamese Alliance Church, and also began Project Destiny. With all of this overlapping and giving me less "down" time, I've found it more necessary than ever to depend on the Lord to shield (for now) from my own emotions that might distract me and to give me strength in faithfully doing everything that I have committed to do.

Finally, it seems things are settling down. It gives me a chance to reflect on all that has passed. On Wednesday, we promoted the 8th graders-- my first 7th grade class from last year. As I stayed up to finish our Retrospective Video, I was amazed at how much that had grown and changed from the last year. Many of them are leaving for Exam Schools and I will miss them. This is probably one of the worst parts of being a public school teacher-- losing your students to another school. While corporately, it would be a great thing for our school if those kids stayed, I know that I should be happy for them because they are getting a better opportunity for themselves. I was so proud, particularly of three students who spoke at the commencement ceremony. They have certainly come a long way.

School ended on Friday, and it was a mad rush to get my grades in! I think there are still many things that I dislike about myself as a teacher. They are not so much "skills" that I should have, but rather character issues that I had assumed God would have worked out of me by now. I believe that the same qualities that make a good person also are the traits that make a good teacher-- integrity, love (as defined in 1 Corinthians 13), consistency, reflectiveness... I actually think I have most of these pretty set, except for the second one-- love.

"Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." (NRSV, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

Look at all the characteristics in bold that make up love. Those are the things I am lacking in. It grieves me greatly to read this passage... God, forgive me and make me a better-- more Christ-like-- teacher next year, I pray.

Pray for Boston

As those of us who live here know, violent crimes involving youth have been on a rise since the end of last year here in Boston. Almost daily, there is news of yet another homicide, another shooting, or stabbing in one of the neighborhoods. From the battle over those "stop snitching" shirts to the gang insignias tatooed onto our school hallway walls, the culture of violence and crime is pervasive-- and well marketed to our youth.

This week, it hit a bit closer to home:

-People don't usually think of street gangs in today's Chinatown, but it looks like we might have a gang just forming up in the courtyard area of my apartment now. The other night, some neighbors heard what sounded like a gun shot from the kids.

-A couple nights ago, there was an argument over a girl in the hallway downstairs and when I went down to check if everything was ok, there was blood all over the hallway and a young man doubled over in distress.

-While taking a walk on Saturday, I ran into a group of students I know from all different contexts-- my school kids, my BCEC youth, and my VAC youth-- and they were hanging out together, all wearing gang colors. I was told later by one of them that they believe themselves to be affiliated with the Bloods. It was a real blow to me because a few of those students were kids that I think very highly of and care for a good deal.

-A girl who has been in and out of our church in Dorchester was shot and killed last week in front of her home. Many of the young people at VAC knew her well from Vacation Bible School.

Each new report brings with it sadness and frustration for people who live here. With the heat of the summer setting in, it doesn't seem like it will get any better soon. Now is a good time for Christians to remember to pray for the city and consider serving in the community in some way. We need for God's grace and healing to touch the areas of Boston where there is brokeness and hate. Please pray-- and if you're wondering how you can get involved=).... talk to me. I've got some ideas in mind.

Community Activism?

I've begun my political career at last! Maybe not quite, but it was kind of interesting. I got a notice this past weekend about a hearing at City Hall exploring the feasability of opening a branch library in Chinatown. It's an issue that I've felt strongly about ever since I began teaching here. I did not hesitate, then, when a chance came to speak up about the issue.

Tuesday afternoon arrived. It took a while, but eventually, the city council chamber was filled with over 100 people who turned out to support the library campaign. Lawrence Joe's youth contingent of Chinese Progressive Association was out in full force. The Josiah Quincy Elementary School also turned out, with principal Lee and several of her young students holding colorful signs. Many Chinese-speaking English students spoke passionately about the need for a library as well. City Counselors Michael Flaherty and Sam Yoon sat for 2 hours, listening to lots of testimony.

Having a library in our neighborhood would make sense on so many levels-- not the least of which is the boost it would provide to literacy efforts, which would, possibly, in turn produce less dropouts and, then, less youth crime in our city. So that was the angle of attack that I took on the issue as I took the stand and read my speech. So maybe it's not the beginning of run for governer, but it provided me a chance to network with CPA folks, as well as a guy from NAAAP.

In the end, it all comes back to bringing greater glory to God. If a few Christians can speak out with truth and grace for issues of social justice-- in a way that brings blessings to the neighborhood in which we live-- and if they know we are Christians-- then, I believe that Jesus gets all the glory.

You can see the video of the hearing here: http://www.cityofboston.gov/citycouncil/cc_video_library.asp?id=208

My testimony is somewhere around the 1:26:00 mark...

Decision Done??

The late nights recently have found me torn between Dorchester and Chinatown. On the one hand, there is the fledgling congregation at VAC that has so many needs... on the other hand is the potential to commit myself deeper into a well-rooted ministry at BCEC. For a while, I could really see myself moving out there to Dorchester and continuing to help nurture that congregation.

But tonight, there was the first indication that God was saying, "Time to get out of there, Steve." While browsing through a few blogs belonging to my now 'former' youths, I ran into one that seemed to be an answered prayer for a kid I'd been praying for. Since coming back from the retreat a few weeks ago, God has been making real changes and increasing this student's love for Him.

I think I've failed in a lot of things since I've started serving in Dorchester. There have been times when I've taken the wrong approach with a student and inadvertantly pushed him away. There have been times when I've failed to recognize a problem before it got worse. I've sometimes been aloof or too concentrated in tasks rather than people. I've missed out on opportunities to show compassion and love. Yet, how is it that, somehow, despite my shortcomings as a counselor, friend, and teacher, God keeps on working all things out and growing these students I come into contact with?

When I read this student's blog, I realized that God will care for his church with or without me. It's his Spirit that achieves everything and not the work of people, no matter how "dedicated" they like to think they are.

I also realized that the worship team may very well be ready to move on without me. They've been all talking about stepping up. Even this past weekend, it was Truong who led the worship songs and not me. There is a new confidence about the team-- a quality of being unafraid. Sometimes, I suppose, the best thing you can do is just get out of the way. The worldly side of me stings with the thought of not being needed any longer, while the Christ-like part of me acknowledges this as the natural result of mentoring and teaching people.

Who am I, that God would use me in even a part of such divine purposes? Grace upon grace upon grace... it's the only possible answer........ no decision yet, but I think I'm getting there.

Junior High Ministry

It's like sitting on an egg-- that's how I've once heard junior high ministry described to me. You plan activities and have discussions, and often, you have very little idea whether or not anything is happening inside the egg. Working with the boys, especially, who don't tend to share that much as a group, it can make you wonder whether or not your efforts are helping at all. Tonight was like that... we had a lot of activity: responses to questions, a skit practice, basketball, wiffleball... but I always feel like we could be doing more to nurture our youth.

I came to know the Lord when I was in junior high youth group-- the very same BCEC group where I now serve. I hadn't gone to church before that, but I kept coming back for social reasons-- the other kids were friendly and I was interested in some of the girls. For some reason, those Friday nights became the thing that kept me afloat through some tough times at home and really boring, tedious days at school. Eventually, the Gospel rose through the haze of Friday activities and penetrated my cluttered heart and mind.

I wonder what it was like for my counselors. Did they wonder if anything was happening inside of me during those times that I came for reasons other than learning about God? Did they realize that Friday nights were the bright point in an otherwise pretty tough existence? I wonder if my youths have the same thing going on, or if they are completely different.

See, they're really distracted and superficial sometimes and it can be frustrating because you want some kind of breakthrough. But all you can really do is continue to model Christ, pray, and love them consistantly. One day, the egg will hatch and you'll see how God used those efforts.

The Heart of a Worship Team

School, one of the youth at the Dorchester Church, chose the worship set this past Sunday. One of the themes for me this month is mentoring, training, and equiping others to do my jobs. I'm really starting to realize that I should have been focused on this ever since I announced my departure several months ago, but now it's hitting home with a new urgency: I've got 3 weeks left!

I've watched this young worship team grow so much over the past 2 years. At first, they had a only a grasp of their own instruments and very little idea of how to put their abilities together, or even of what a worship team was. We've gone throught the loud punk rock stage where we just tried to make the coolest sound we could come up-- including a full drum set and loud, blasting choruses. We've temporarily suspended the team. We've cut down our size and shrunk to a more basic ensemble, and then grown again. More than that, though, we've gone from the business of making music to the business of praising God with our hearts. And maybe that's the one thing of lasting value we've accomplished up until now.

I'm proud of them-- very very proud. Especially after last Saturday night when we led worship for our youth conference. Sure, they were younger than all the other teams that led, but the goal of glorifying God and not ourselves was not lost on them. All the "lectures" I had delivered, all the pep talks and reminders-- phrases like "we are not a band" and "this is not for us"-- all of it could not teach the lesson as well as God did when he set our team's sights on him that Saturday night and brought himself glory through our leading.

Yeah, we've had our tough times, even over that weekend-- but through all of that, the Lord was teaching us something... and I have more good memories than tough ones. When you look at the big picture and see how much God has done in their worship lives it's not hard to realize how much God is going to do in and through them in the future. I think I know which people I'll miss most when I go....

Awkward Moments

So I'm leading a Bible Study tonight-- we're reading the first part of Romans and discussing hippocracy in our own lives-- deep dark stuff hidden in our "closets" that we're judging others for. The two guys I've been meeting with for the past five months (you know who you are) are humbly and honestly revealing the sins they are ashamed of... it's about to bring our discipleship group to a new level.... when all of a sudden, the chair I'm sitting on completely splinters apart and collapses. Doh.

My Bad Dream Comes True

So I've sometimes had this bad dream that I'm walking around the neighborhood, late at night, and I run into one of my students. I never know what to say because what if they ran away from home, or if they got kicked out? What if they become my responsibility? I'd probably ask, but not want to know...

So it finally happened tonight. It was bound to. One of my7th graders had gotten kicked out of his home in Mission Park. I walked around the corner, and there he was.

Liu: What are you doing out so late?
Student: (Chinese) I got kicked out by my mom.

A hundred thoughts flashed through my mind before I decided... I couldn't leave him out there, could I? That's why I invited him to help me do laundry and stay the night. Yes, I took all the precautions necessary to protect myself from accusations-- he wrote down a statement and signed it; I informed two other people that he was there.

It's so wrong that a parent would kick their kid out. No matter how bad he is. I know this kid, he's no piece of cake to deal with-- probably one of the tougher cases we've had in my school since I've been there. But to kick him out of the house?! When he's this young? It's not right. How, now, do I share the love of Christ with him-- I'm involved, afterall.