Decision Done??

The late nights recently have found me torn between Dorchester and Chinatown. On the one hand, there is the fledgling congregation at VAC that has so many needs... on the other hand is the potential to commit myself deeper into a well-rooted ministry at BCEC. For a while, I could really see myself moving out there to Dorchester and continuing to help nurture that congregation.

But tonight, there was the first indication that God was saying, "Time to get out of there, Steve." While browsing through a few blogs belonging to my now 'former' youths, I ran into one that seemed to be an answered prayer for a kid I'd been praying for. Since coming back from the retreat a few weeks ago, God has been making real changes and increasing this student's love for Him.

I think I've failed in a lot of things since I've started serving in Dorchester. There have been times when I've taken the wrong approach with a student and inadvertantly pushed him away. There have been times when I've failed to recognize a problem before it got worse. I've sometimes been aloof or too concentrated in tasks rather than people. I've missed out on opportunities to show compassion and love. Yet, how is it that, somehow, despite my shortcomings as a counselor, friend, and teacher, God keeps on working all things out and growing these students I come into contact with?

When I read this student's blog, I realized that God will care for his church with or without me. It's his Spirit that achieves everything and not the work of people, no matter how "dedicated" they like to think they are.

I also realized that the worship team may very well be ready to move on without me. They've been all talking about stepping up. Even this past weekend, it was Truong who led the worship songs and not me. There is a new confidence about the team-- a quality of being unafraid. Sometimes, I suppose, the best thing you can do is just get out of the way. The worldly side of me stings with the thought of not being needed any longer, while the Christ-like part of me acknowledges this as the natural result of mentoring and teaching people.

Who am I, that God would use me in even a part of such divine purposes? Grace upon grace upon grace... it's the only possible answer........ no decision yet, but I think I'm getting there.