I met up with a friend recently for dinner and talk. As often happens, we got to the part of the conversation where we talk about how much we've been doing lately. You know how this goes: you start to feel guilty about not having been a better friend and then subtly-- although nobody really misses this-- you begin listing off the things you have been involved in:
"Work has been crazy lately. And I've been meeting up with the youth group kids a lot more. And every other Tuesday, I've got a meeting with X. I'm leading Y group every Wednesday for church. And Project Z has been ramping up, so it's taking up the rest of my spare time. I haven't even seen my roommates lately, and I've slept only 5 hours a night, and I've been B***!"
And before you know it, you're doing two things: 1) complaining about things that you're supposedly really passionate about doing, and 2) justifying yourself by your work load because either A) your work is more important than him or B) you are a slave to your work and don't have a choice, so you can't be blamed.
It didn't get to that point for me this last time. Just as I was about to say the word "busy, " I realized, at least this time, that "busy" was a bad word. It was nothing but an excuse to not take responsibility for my use of time and a way of protecting myself against feeling the weight of being a bad friend.
Have you been busy? Perhaps. Too busy to care for people and relationships? If that's true, then you've been making a huge waste of your time.
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